That about sums up the Redskins season right now.  We haven’t been this bad in Lord knows how long.  (1993 maybe?  Or 1998, when they started out 0-7 on their way to a 6-10 finish?)  They’ve had bad seasons over the past 10-15 years, but very seldom have they been this awful on offense; 17 points is the high mark for points so far, and they’ve been held to single digits by the Rams and the Chiefs, two teams who normally give it up like it’s for free.  They can’t move the ball with any consistency, and when they get in the red zone they might as well kick the field goal on first down and get it over with.  The fans were chanting ‘sell the team!’ at the game Sunday, and a fight that broke out in the stands was more entertaining than the game itself.  Yikes.  They look so bad now that a supposed gimme against the Raiders later on looks like another loss right about now.  2-14 is likely, and now Dead Coach Walking Jim Zorn has had his playcalling duties taken away, the first step in what will be a outright dismissal soon.

But wait, it gets worse.  We have one wide receiver who can do all of the things you expect a pro wideout to be able to do: run routes correctly, get open, catch the ball, and run afterward.  All the others either can’t catch (Devin Thomas), can’t get open (Malcolm Kelly), or fall down right after they catch the ball (Antwan Randle-El).  Our offensive line stinks out loud.  We have a guy who was drafted in the third round, Chad Rhinehart, who can’t get on the field even when half the other guys are hurt, and an undrafted free agent in Stephon Heyer playing left tackle.  Our multimillion dollar running back, is washed up and can’t break runs like he used to but can still run his mouth like no other.  And our quarterback, who gets way too much blame for everything was disrespected by management this summer and is on the verge of being ruined by inept coaching.

Wait….there’s more!  Come Monday night, our offense will be called by Sherm Lewis, who hasn’t coached in five years and was literally on his way to call a bingo game when Dan Snyder called him up and offered him a job.  Can you believe that?

But other than all of that, everything is great.  Good times!  Somebody get me a paper bag to wear to the office…..