If you don’t mind, let me put on my “Dean of Nohology” hat and break down some pimp focus knowledge for you.
You have been dating a woman for seven years. After the seventh year, the woman says she just needs some space to decide if you are the one she wants to be with forever, or if she ready for another relationship.
On a scale of 1-10 — you are a 5, but your girl is a 9. You lucked up into being with her and have done everything within your power to keep her happy, but she still wants to explore her options. Understandably, you are panicked.
So what do you do?
You become a “Flower Dude,” you start harassing your girl nonstop. You are sending her flowers, candy, jewelry, and whatever else you can purchase on Reggie Wayne’s debit card. You are writing poems and making pathetic YouTube videos. All in the hopes your girl will come back to you.
Here is the problem though — none of that matters. You have been with your woman for 7 years; if she wants you, she will come back, if she doesn’t, she won’t. Stop making a fool of yourself, you are embarrassing yourself and the male species.
Which brings us to the city of Akron, where they’re having a LeBron Appreciation day. Here are the details:
LeBron James’ hometown is throwing him a big party. Nobody knows if it’s a farewell bash yet.
James’ contributions to Akron will be celebrated on Saturday at “LeBron Appreciation Day,” an event organized by community leaders to show the local superstar how much he is loved as he approaches free agency.
The three-hour rally is being held at InfoCision Stadium on the University of Akron’s campus, across from Rhodes Arena, where James accepted his second straight NBA MVP award last month.
Organizers said James is aware of the event, but don’t know if he’ll attend.
The last sentence is the most important. He might not even come. That is the equivalent of throwing your girl a party, inviting all of her friends … and she is out breaking lamps with Drake.
Please stop the slurping over LeBron, because nothing you do is going to make him come back.
Either he loves you, or the love is gone.