Top 5 Reasons Why Tiger Woods Would Give Elin Nordegren $750 Million
Fellas, Eddie Murphy tried to warn us back in ’87. Now maybe we weren’t listening because we were too young at the time, or because Eddie had on a purple leather jumpsuit with heels and a scarf, but the point is he warned us.
He told us don’t get married to a woman that doesn’t have anything — especially if you have a lot.
Many men, both stars and McDonald’s guy, did not heed the warning.
Which brings us to Tiger Woods, who is in the final negotiations of his divorce settlement with Elin Nordegren. Yesterday we reported that Elin was looking at getting $750 million and custody of the kids just to be quiet.
This begs the question, though; who gives up 3/4 of their net worth just to shut someone up? There has to be some skeletons in Tiger Woods’ closet the size of Tyrannosaurus Rex.
Here are the Top 5 Reasons Tiger may be trying to keep Elin quiet:
1- He “Broke Lamps” with Secretariat.
This has to be the only logical reason, right? No sane man would give up that much money and custody of his kids unless he was having an affair with some barn animal, right?
2- Elin has some Chris Hanson style footage.
Is it possible one of the “TigerStyle” ladies were of R. Kelly’s liking, or maybe it was a Lawrence Taylor situation that Tiger has swept under the rug?
3- He was spotted with Johnny Gill
I will let you figure that on your own.
4- Elin knows he is really black
They might not let him into next year Masters if this information is made public.
5- Elin found a hidden stash of DMX CDs in a secret room.
What, you didn’t know Tiger was gangsta?
“If you had $5 and someone took $2.50 … you would be mad”
Classic Eddie Murphy