Amazingly without having any police, detective, FBI, CIA or Men in Black training (but I did break lamps in a Holiday Inn Express last night) I was able to figure out what happened in the Jay Mariotti case before the police even released the info to the public (it’s true just look at my twitter).
Honestly this wasn’t hard to figure out.
Mariotti is a 51 year old man with a younger girlfriend who is only with him for his money (or maybe she likes guys in tight leather jackets).
Mariotti tries to look cool by taking her to clubs where she fits right in, but he sticks out like JaMarcus Russell at a Golds Gym.
The girlfriend runs into a cooler, younger guy like me and starts to flirt a little. Probably making fun of the fact that she has milked so much money our of Mariotti he is going to Reggie Wayne for additional funds.
Mariotti leather jacket gets tighter as he sees this interaction, he gets mad and I will let the police tell you the rest of the details:
LAPD sources said Mariotti allegedly got into an argument with his girlfriend at a club in Santa Monica, and they were observed exchanging harsh words just before getting in a car to leave. Mariotti got angry after he believed his girlfriend had been flirting with another man, police sources said.
The argument continued at the couple’s apartment near Venice where Mariotti allegedly pushed and shoved the woman. During the altercation, Mariotti grabbed her arm, leaving marks, the sources said.
Police were called to the apartment and found his girlfriend, who has not been identified, with cuts and bruises.
So Mariotti gets salty because he realizes his girlfriend couldn’t possibly want a man like him so he strong arms her.
I mean what hot woman wouldn’t want an old man who whines like a little girl on TV every day like someone took his Capri Sun and rocked a curl shag like his hero was Steve Sanders from 90210.
While Mariotti is free on bail, he should be relived of his duties from ESPN and Fanhouse. History has shown that ESPN in particular has cut its losses with employees who have been accused of far less, so I do not expect to see Mariotti annoying the world on Around the Horn on Monday.
Oh and one last piece of advice to Mariotti:
SMARTEN UP NAS…