Tiki Barber’s intern Traci Lynn Johnson is confused.

She doesn’t understand why she is considered a home wrecker, a mistress, a gold digger and etc.

She doesn’t understand why people don’t recognize true love.

She doesn’t understand why she is being harassed.

So she decided to write a “web memoir” about it to Crushable.com.

I couldn’t even make this stuff up if I wanted to, here are some of the more interesting quotes:

Three months later all the bright red caution lights that were flashing in my mind when I first began dating Tiki had disappeared and I was, for the first time in my life, completely comfortable in my relationship. I was able to throw on a pair of sweatpants and not worry about putting make-up on when he came over, our hands seemed to fit together perfectly while walking down the street, conversation over dinner at our favorite French restaurant, La Ripaille, flowed naturally – all in all, life appeared seemingly perfect.

Then within 24 hours, that seemingly perfect world that I had quickly grown accustomed too, vanished. My face was suddenly on the front page of one of the most read newspapers in the nation, I was trending on Google, my family was being harassed by reporters, my sister called to tell me that she saw Tiki and me on television, and I was forced to leave my cozy two-bedroom apartment, with my eight-month old puppy in tow, to spend the next two weeks in seclusion from the world.

I remember one day, crying to Tiki, probably after reading a blog about us (which I promised Tiki I wouldn’t do), begging him to call the papers, to scream it from the top of 30 Rock, to simply tell the world the truth because I thought it was destroying me, him, and the potential future for our relationship together. Upon my request to vindicate not only myself, but him as well, Tiki, sat me down, placed his arm around me, and said, “Nothing that I can say will change their perception. Only time will.”

I remember one day, crying to Tiki, probably after reading a blog about us (which I promised Tiki I wouldn’t do), begging him to call the papers, to scream it from the top of 30 Rock, to simply tell the world the truth because I thought it was destroying me, him, and the potential future for our relationship together. Upon my request to vindicate not only myself, but him as well, Tiki, sat me down, placed his arm around me, and said, “Nothing that I can say will change their perception. Only time will.”

Four months later we are still together and love each other more than before. We have our moments of discontent as any normal couple does, but for the most part we find happiness in each other and the simple pleasures of life. On an average night we find ourselves watching whatever we have rented from Netflix or enjoying an episode of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman (yes, with or without Tiki’s permission, I will admit that we own the entire collection)………..

Lets just stop right there.  Am I reading a memoir or a very bad Hallmark card?

No hate on Dr. Quinn because she was pretty hot, but I digress.

A couple of things.

I am taking full credit for being that blog that made her cry.

Secondly she is just breaking my heart that she and her 8 month old puppy had to “disappear” in fear of the big bad media.

No matter how you try to clean it up, doesn’t matter if you are Alicia Keys, Fantasia or an intern you were sleeping with a married man.  Not just any married man, but a married man who wife was pregnant with twins.

If Tiki’s marriage was so bad that he couldn’t stand to be with his wife how did she get pregnant?

Was it the immaculate conception?

Stop playing the victim, woman up and just say what really happened.

You wanted a married man and you got him.  You didn’t care about his wife or their kids.  You had your eyes on the prize and you cashed out.

Doesn’t matter if Tiki likes you in sweatpants or you watch Dr. Quinn Medicine woman, you still a intern mistress.

Just own in.