Pieces of Ivory: Ladies Guide to Men at SB & All-Star Weekend
Even due to the weather and all its craziness, there are going to be even more shenanigans taking place in town. Last week, I told the ladies how not to appear as a jump off. This week, I’m going to give the women a guide to what type of ‘spectator dude’ you will expect to encounter at the Super Bowl and All-Star Weekend!
The Rapper-this is the dude from out of town talking about his single is number one back home. Asking you if you ever heard of him on YouTube and if you know how to do some stupid ass dance he made to go with it. Saying his big break is going to happen as soon as (insert big name producer) hears how he flows. Ladies, beware. Yes, he does have a demo, but this dude been trying to get on for years. Oh and where is it that you’re from, again?
The Promoter- this is the dude who claims he has something to do with all of the hottest parties in town, even pulls out a flyer to show you which ones! When you ask him, ‘Can you and your girl get in for free?’ he says ‘Oh no, I can’t do that, it’s all about making that money this weekend’. Sir, if you’re so big time and got all the celebs at your event, letting in two hot chicks will help you more than hurt you. Ladies, beware. He is just a part of the street team and not really running a damn thing.
The Name Dropper- this is the dude who is just part of the entourage, he’s just like Te Te from ‘The Game’ only lower in the entourage. He will tell you immediately that Adrian Peterson is his boy while he’s standing at the bar ordering drinks, basically running errands for him. He is in town on somebody else’s dime, using somebody else’s name and gets everybody else’s leftovers. Ladies, beware. Yes, he knows said athlete but he is probably his flunky, not his homie, and is sharing a room with two other dudes that supposedly “do security as well.”
The Low-Budget Baller- this is the dude that got here on a wing and a prayer. He and his boys drove over five hours just to enjoy some of the festivities; he’s just along for the ride. He’s staying at his auntie’s house on the other side of town and the only things he plans to do are hit up free day parties, hang out in bars with no cover and walk around the mall to try and holla at chicks. Every day you see him, he got on the same wardrobe: jeans and a different color hoodie. Ladies, beware. This dude is broke as a joke and didn’t even chip in on the gas to get here.
The Big Stunner- this is the dude who is in VIP at every spot buying bottles, trying hard as hell to keep up with the Vick’s, Young’s and Jones’. He’s at the strip club making it rain, at the mall big spending in the Gucci store and flashin’ his tickets to the game. Ladies, beware. This dude got a mouth full of gold teeth and nine times out of 10, he does something illegal to keep it all going.
The Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda- this dude is the dude that was a great high school/college prospect back in the day. He shoulda played more in college but the coach was hatin’ on him. He woulda went overseas but he hurt his knee. He coulda went to the league but his agent just couldn’t really get him a shot. He is fine as the day is long but every other thing that comes out his mouth gets the side-eye. Ladies, beware. Yes, he is talking a good game but when it really comes down to it, he is not about that action.
You will find all types hanging out in Dallas and LA these weekends. Some diamonds in the rough, your possible come up, some genuinely nice dudes and a lot of jokers, but please believe me, the one thing you damn sure won’t find is a husband.