Kobe Says Lakers are “Slow As Hell” and Messing with His “Zen Stuff”

Despite Kobe’s 42 points, the Lakers fell to 9-13 after a loss last night to the Cleveland Cavaliers.

While head coach Mike D’Antoni was getting “pissed off” by his questions about the Lakers defense, Kobe Bryant provided another perspective to LA Times reporter T.J. Simers.

“It’s extremely, extremely frustrating,” he said. “I don’t know if we’re too old and it takes us a long time to get started and lathered up. It seems like we got the Scooby-Doo syndrome where it takes you like five seconds.…”

“Last year we got beat in the playoffs by transition points and this year it’s still an Achilles’ heel for us. I don’t know if we’re too slow of a team and we got to change things up a little bit and play a slower game. I don’t know the answer.”

So, will getting Pau Gasol and Steve Nash back fix things?

“No,” Bryant said. “Those issues are still there. With Steve and Pau there in the lineup we still didn’t win a preseason game. Pau isn’t the fastest guy in the world and neither is Steve. Actually, we’re slow as hell. I’m one of the fastest guys on the team and I’m like 50.”

So how is Kobe feeling about things right now in Laker Land?

“This is the toughest stretch, the most challenging stretch in my 17 years for sure,” said Bryant while sitting calmly in front of his locker taking on all questions.

“It kind of gets like that Mr. Magoo syndrome (or Joe Btfsplk from Li’l Abner); the clouds just following you around all the time. To break that you have to be extremely determined to change momentum.”

Is Kobe upset?

“I’m very upset, and in the past I would blow my top and go crazy,” he said. “Then I had a head coach [Phil Jackson] who always kept calm and I learned from that. I’m trying to do the same thing here, but I won’t lie; they’re messing with my Zen stuff.”

I must say, I’m liking Kobe Bryant much more in his latter years.  He’s like the hilarious old lady at church that’s been around so long, and has done so many things that she’s just going to say what she feels, and people have so much respect for her they just chuckle enviously at the fact that she’s reached the point where no one dares to say anything about her sometimes biting candor.  She’s earned that right.

That’s Kobe to me right now.  He’s wrapping up one of the greatest careers in NBA history.  He has nothing to prove to anyone and he knows it…he just wants to win.  He’s going to tell you exactly how he feels, and as one of his biggest detractors during his NBA career I’ve learned to respect him more this season than in any other season he’s played in this league.

With that said, It’s getting very hot in that LA kitchen for D’Antoni.  I think Littal said it best in a tweet last night “Somewhere Mike Brown is looking at that $11 million in his bank account eating the finest Chick-Fil-A in the land.”