Before you even ask this has nothing to do with sports (unless you consider sex a sport), but since I own the site and I find this story to be one of the craziest I have ever heard, I am posting anyway.
Ashley Hunter (that’s a guy), Orlando DeWitt and Leticia decided they wanted to get their Cinemax After Dark on and have a threesome. Sounds like fun right?
It was until Ashley got a knife. Are curious why Ashley turned into Jason Voorhees? I will let them tell the story for you.
Cops report that Hunter and DeWitt–who met in prison–had been partying with several female acquaintances Friday night at a Fargo bar when they returned to Hunter’s residence (after a 2:30 AM McDonald’s pit stop).
DeWitt told police that he “began kissing on the couch” with one of the women, named Leticia. Soon, they were “under the covers and they had their pants off,” which led, of course, to the new couple having sex. DeWitt added that he twice caught Hunter watching the living room action from his adjacent bedroom.
At one point, DeWitt reported, Hunter “came out of the bedroom and began kissing on Leticia’s breasts.” In short order, Leticia “began to perform oral sex on Hunter.” It appears that DeWitt was continuing to have sex with Leticia while she was performing double duty.
And that is when the trouble began.
“Hunter then asked to switch places with Orlando,” according to a Fargo Police Department report. “Orlando told him no and Hunter became upset.” During the ensuing argument, DeWitt called Hunter a “fucking retard,” which infuriated Hunter. He yelled at DeWitt and ordered him to leave the residence.
DeWitt, seen at left, recalled that Hunter–who threatened to “fuck him up” and “kill him”–reached into the couch and retrieved a 12-inch butcher knife. DeWitt and Leticia, both naked, fled to a bathroom. Hunter, knife in hand, subsequently forced his way into the bathroom and continued to threaten DeWitt.
“Orlando said he decided to run for the front door,” police reported. The nude DeWitt reached the home’s first door, but as he “went to open the exterior door he felt the knife cutting the back of his left arm.” While fleeing the home, DeWitt, who was not seriously injured, grabbed Leticia’s phone, which he used to call 911 from a nearby alley.
As soon as I read they met in prison I knew this story was going to be a good one. Here are a couple of good rules if you are having a threesome.
- If you are a guy, better to have it with 2 girls than your boy.
- If your boy is staring at you having sex, that could be a sign he is a little crazy.
- Prison friends aren’t good threesome partners.
- When your prison friend says switch position, for safety reasons you might want to just do it.
- Don’t call your prison friend retarded.
Follow these rules and you might not get stabbed.