I thought Molly went out of style with that horrible ILoveMakonnen song? I guess Stefan Sortland of Colorado State University didn’t get the memo.
Stefan had a night that would make the cast of the Hangover jealous. He started by pre-gaming at his apartment Molly & coke (That can’t be the greatest combo). Then he headed to a Halloween party where he began to party, seizure, and need an ambulance to be called to assist him.
Oh, it gets crazier.
Stefan wakes up in the middle of this madness and decides it’s a good idea to steal the ambulance sent to help him. Don’t believe it? Here’s the officer’s account:
Loveland police officers said they found the ambulance in the middle of Highway 34 with several doors open, heavy front-end damage and fluid leaking.
One officer said it appeared the driver of the ambulance had hit the raised median, jumped the curb, hit a sign, went the wrong way and crossed back over the median before stopping.
Officers said they found 18-year-old Stefan Sortland standing about 30 yards from the stopped ambulance wearing an EMT vest. Officers shot him with a stun gun when he refused their commands. Sortland had a blanket, a cell phone and a box of Wheat Thins with him.
Oh, you thought he was finished?
Sortland was taken to the Loveland Police Department.
There he “stood on a bench, kicked the wall, and masturbated,” according to the police report.
Police said during his interview with officers, Sortland made a reference that his “friends/roommates were dead, in heaven, and had committed suicide.”
Moral of the story, friends don’t let friends pop bad Molly and act a fool.