Heading into the Hell in a Cell pay-per-view, it seemed like WWE had built a top-heavy show featuring a card of feuds we’ve seen for months now. Generally, this combination means another underwhelming pay-per-view. But last night’s show had some surprises, some flat out great matches, and an instant classic to close the show, giving us one of the better PPV’s the E has put on this year. Let’s take a look at what went down.
A Night of Losses for the Undertaker
Let’s be real here, underwhelming card or not, WWE was going to get a ton of eyes on this show simply because of the main event. It’s not often you get the rubber match of a heated feud between two of the greatest wrestlers of all time.
Taker. Lesnar.
Really, that’s all anyone was here for last night and boy did these two deliver. If you thought their first two encounters were brutal, last night’s battle inside of the Cell upped the ante even more. It took all of five minutes for Taker to bust Lesnar wide open and the Beast Incarnate was bleeding pretty profusely throughout the match.
Not to be outdone, Lesnar busted Taker open with some stiff shots to the head and both guys spent most of the match with blood pouring down their faces.
As is often the case, eventually weapons were brought into this thing and that’s when things quickly began to spiral out of control. Lesnar began wailing away at the Dead Man, picking him apart with some absolutely brutal chair shots. But come on, this is the Undertaker, if you want to see brutal all you have to do is look at what the Phenom did to Lesnar when it was his turn to use the chair as a weapon.
OUCH.
Somehow, this just served to anger Lesnar and get him rolling. Lesnar flips out and takes Taker to Suplex City out of nowhere, and follows it up with an F-5 for the 1.2… TAKER KICKS OUT!
Lesnar picks the Dead Man up and hits another F-5 and AGAIN only gets a near-fall.
Lesnar then goes outside, throws steel steps into the ring and LEVELS Taker with them for yet another near-fall. Wow.
Brock tries to hit Taker with the steps again but the Dead Man kicks them into the BEast’s head and buys himself some time. Lesnar crawls over to Taker and tries to grab his legs but THE DEAD MAN LOCKS IN HELLS GATE!
That same move gave Taker the win at SummerSlam, but this time Lesnar is ready for it. The Beast Incarnate launches an all-out grand and pound attack and brutally attacks Taker with massive blows.
Seriously though, this is the blow-off match to one of the most brutal feuds we’ve seen in years, you didn’t think these guys would push it even further?! Lesnar hit Taker with not one, but two massive F-5’s and somehow the Dead Man was able to kick out both times before the three count. So what do you do when a Dead Man refuses to die?
TEAR ALL THE PADDING OFF OF THE RING APRON OF COURSE.
Lesnar literally rips the apron apart in the middle of the ring and throws out all of the padding, revealing nothing but wood. As he’s doing this, Taker sits up out of nowhere and chokeslams Brock onto the exposed wood!
Somehow Lesnar staggers back to his feet and the Dead Man picks him up for a massive Tombstone onto the wood.
1…..2….. LESNAR KICKS OUT!!!
Somehow, the Beast gets his shoulder up and the match continues. Now Taker is mad and it’s time for the patented Rest in Peace taunt, only Lesnar proves that karma is very real, connecting on a vicious low blow to the Dead Man.
The Beast gets up and grabs Taker for yet another F-5 onto the exposed wood and FINALLY is able to keep the Dead Man down for the 1-2-3.
Lesnar makes his way to the back and Taker is rightfully met with “Thank You Taker!” chants as he slowly makes his way to his feet. The crowd gives the Dead Man a great ovation amidst the realization that he might be done after this. Taker drops to one knee and prepares to hit his signature Dead Man pose when…
The Wyatt Family suddenly appears! Bray makes his way out with his three behemoths and the four surround Taker before attacking the Dead Man. Wyatt sits back as his giants do most of the work, before getting in Takers face and mocking his Rest in Peace throat slash. We end the show with the Wyatt’s carrying Takers carcass out of the arena.
For the second straight Hell in a Cell, we end with Bray Wyatt standing tall after the main event. What, you forgot this awesomeness from last year?!
Team Undertaker vs. Team Wyatt at Survivor Series? SIGN ME UP.
Roman Reigns Finally Gets His Revenge on Bray Wyatt
There was no topping what Undertaker and Brock Lesnar did inside of the Cell to close out the show, but easily the other highlight match of the night was the battle between Bray Wyatt and Roman Reigns inside the hellacious structure. This match was as physical as you’d expect right from the beginning, with both men taking turns throwing their opponent into the Cell walls.
Eventually, Wyatt gets a kendo stick involved and changes the tone of the match quickly. He beats Reigns mercilessly with the kendo stick, inflicting a ton of damage on the big dog. Wyatt then goes back under the ring and grabs a chair… only to sit on the chair and continue poking and beating a prone Reigns.
Wyatt then gets twisted and wedges the kendo stick in between Cell walls before also wedging the chair legs into the wall. Reigns tries to fight him off, but Wyatt is able to smack his opponents head through the hanging kendo stick.
Reigns somehow gets back to his feet and the two begin exchanging blows before Reigns is able to shove Wyatt through the hanging chair and finally gain some momentum by throwing Wyatt into the Cell.
Now it’s Reigns who goes under the ring for a weapon and he emerges with two kendo sticks just as Wyatt is about to attack. Bray stops dead in his tracks and immediately regrets this decision.
Eventually Reigns beats the everlasting hell out of Wyatt with both kendo sticks before going back under the ring and pulling out a table. Reigns stops and realizes this is Hell in a Cell, so he pulls out another table as well and now a table is set up on each side of the ring floor.
Reigns and Wyatt start trading blows on the apron before Wyatt is able to gain the upperhand by slamming Reigns through the table ringside.
Back in the ring, Wyatt hits a senton on Reigns and then grabs a third table and sets it up in the ring. Wyatt sits Reigns up on the top rope and looks to hit a superplex but Reigns fights his way out of it and…
POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE.
Both men are down now and after a couple minutes of recovery get back to their feet and start exchanging blows. Wyatt goes for a Sister Abigail but Reigns counters and hits a Superman Punch for the near-fall. Reigns tries to get in more offense but Wyatt rolls out onto the apron and wait… there’s still a table there.
Reigns hits a MASSIVE spear on Wyatt through the table ringside and this match is amazing. Both men down again before Reigns rolls Wyatt into the ring for the 1…2… AND WYATT KICKS OUT!
Reigns gets up and tries a Spear but runs straight into a kick from Wyatt followed by Sister Abigail. 1…2… AND NOW IT’S REIGNS WHO KICKS OUT!
Wyatt sets both kendo sticks up in the turnbuckles, sticking out like spikes from hell. He tries to throw Reigns into them but Roman counters and starts hitting Wyatt with one of the sticks. Reigns then shoves Wyatt throat-first into the other kendo stick before hitting a huge spear for the 1-2-3.
What a way to finish this feud. Awesome match from these two young stars.
ALBERTOOOOOO DEL RIOOOOOOOO Ends Cena’s Dominance
We kicked off the show with a bang as John Cena comes out and gets right down to business. He says that L.A. is the place to be and now it’s time for the U.S. Title Open Challenge, you want some, come get some.
A familiar music hits and… wait is that Zeb Colter?
Colter comes out and starts putting over Cena’s challenger, an international man who can unite the people against Cena. And who is this man? IT’S ALBERTOOOOOOOOOO DELLLLL RIOOOOOOOOOOOO!
El Patron makes his WWE return a year after being fired and the crowd loves every second of it.
The match itself was actually a little slow and stiff, which is surprising considering the long history these two have with each other. Del Rio controls for a good majority of this thing and eventually calls for a cross-armbreaker before Cena counters. The Champ heads up top but Del Rio catches him with a huge enziguiri for the near-fall.
Cena eventually takes control as he tends to do and looks to hit an Attitude Adjustment. Del Rio counters and hits Cena with a backstabber.
Cena staggers to his knees and Del Rio hits him with a huge superkick to the head.
1…2…3?!?!
Shockingly, Del Rio picks up the win over Cena clean in a sudden ending that not many people saw coming. Seriously, I was in the crowd and it took us all 2-3 seconds after the three-count to realize what just happened.
Either way, as Cena leaves on his sabbatical we have a new U.S. Champ and his name is ALBERTOOOOOOOO DELLLLL RIOOOOOOOOO!
Rollins Retains in a Snoozer
It took me four matches to get to the WWE title, and that’s really all you need to know about the match between Seth Rollins and Kane. WWE has grossly mishandled Rollins title reign in recent months, and this match was just another example of it. The crowd was anything but interested in this thing and it’s apparent throughout the match.
Rollins tried his best to make this thing interesting, hitting some great moves including this somersault over the top rope onto Kane outside.
Things break down on the outside because of course and Kane tries to slam Rollins through the Spanish announce table, only the Champ counters and powerbombs Kane… onto the table?
Okay so the table sort of tipped over instead of breaking but you get the idea.
Back in the ring Rollins is trying to put Kane away with multiple flying knees before nailing the Demon with a massive Frog Splash off the top rope.
Rollins tries to make another move but Kane grabs him by the throat and looks for a chokeslam, Rollins counters and hits Kane with a Pedigree for the 1-2-3 and title retention. Not sure what I hate more, this feud or Rollins using the Pedigree to end it.
Ugh.
Other Results:
New..Day..Retains! – In one what was hopefully the last match between the New Day and the Dudley Boyz, everyones favorite Tag Team picked up the win in typical New Day fashion. Kofi and Big E made their way and sadly explained that Xavier Woods was not there because of an injury he suffered going through a table. We all unicorned in solidarity though so it’s cool.
The match itself got started and was a little sloppy at first, specifically when the Dudleyz took us all to BOTCHAMANIA!
Eventually Kofi made up for it with this awesome flying kick to both Dudleyz.
As things broke down, Kofi tried to get Woods trombone involved, but once he realized Bubba saw it coming, Kingston called an audible.
Unfortunately for New Day, the ref didn’t buy that Kofi was hit and no DQ was issued. Things really broke down from there, as Big E hit Bubba with the trombone as the ref is distracted and Kofi follows that up with Trouble in Paradise for the 1-2-3.
Owens Retains… Now Can We Get a Fun Feud? – Kevin Owens beat Ryback in an Intercontinental Title match that ended like this.
Now can we get Owens into a real feud? Seriously, if WWE wonders why nobody cares about the Intercontinental title it’s BECAUSE OF FEUDS LIKE THIS.
Kevin freaking Owens was in a match that nobody noticed because blah Ryback. Come on Creative, get it together.
Charlotte & Nikki Steal The Show – Surprisingly, the Divas title match between Charlotte and Nikki Bella was actually pretty damn awesome. Both Divas went all out, with Nikki showing a more aggressive, ruthless side.
Bella picked Charlotte apart throughout the match and then tried to suplex the Champ off the top rope. But you know, Charlotte is an uber athlete and she laughs at your suplex attempts.
Eventually, Charlotte hits a massive spear on Nikki and is able to lock in the Figure Eight to force a Bella tap-out.
WOOOOO!