Robert Sarver has an interesting sense of humor.
ESPN detailed all the wild things he has allegedly been doing as owner of the Suns.
Here is a breakdown.
- Sarver likes to say the N-word a lot.
- Sarver says “Black Guy” a lot.
- Sarver had beef with Rich Paul and Klutch.
- Sarver showed his wife in a swimsuit to staff members.
- Sarver talked about how his wife gave him oral sex to staffers.
- Sarver liked to tell people he owned them.
- Sarver called his black coach Earl Watson “Toxic.”
- Sarver liked to tell staffers he needed MAGNUM condoms.
- Sarver believes women should breastfeed at home, not work.
- Sarver thinks women cry too much.
- Sarver asked a male employee if he shaved his balls.
- Sarver offered to get his players escorts if they played better.
- Sarver wanted local strippers to have babies with players so they wouldn’t leave Suns in free agency.
- Sarver pantsed an employee in front of 60 staff members.
- Sarver berates players and coaches after bad losses, including DeAndre Ayton.
- Sarver allowed a black employee to be called Carlton by a white co-worker.
Now SI has unearthed a 9-minute video of Sarver talking wild at a memorial service, but some context should be pointed out before we get into what he said.
Dick Heckmann was a minority owner of the Suns and good friends with Sarver. When he passed away, one of his wishes was for him to have a memorial roast in his honor. Heckmann’s widow Wendy granted his wish, and a roast isn’t very politically correct for those who don’t know. Check out any of them from Comedy Central.
With that being said, here is what Sarver said at the roast.
References to Heckmann’s sons’ sexual exploits: “We just bought the team in June of 2004. My biggest concerns were ticket sales, sponsorship revenue, trying to sign some players, getting a winning record—what I really know is my biggest concern was the Heckmann boys were fucking their way through the cheerleading team.”
Stories about Heckmann’s own sex life, including one involving former Suns great Steve Nash: “Dick was chasing everything that moved in Scottsdale. And speaking of—someone said he left his DNA. He did leave his DNA in Steve Nash’s socks somewhere in the locker room.”
Sarver said Heckmann liked to boast about how frequently he had sex: “Dick would say he had sex 10 times in a day. Unmedicated. … And I finally figured out, it was Dick’s sex math. So when he said ‘10 times,’ [Sarver thrusts] what he meant is like in and out five times; that was 10 times for Dick.”
At one point Sarver turned his gaze to someone in the crowd, apparently on their phone and not paying attention. “This guy’s got a make-believe deal going on over here at fucking three in the morning. You merging on a SPAC, or you lining up a hooker over there? What are you doing? It’s a goddamn memorial service. Fucking idiot, Jesus Christ. I’m gonna guess his receptionist has small tits. But, he has no idea; he’s just drinking his wine.”
It should be noted that Sarver’s widow didn’t have any issues with the jokes.
Heckmann’s widow Wendy told SI on Tuesday that Sarver’s remarks were in keeping with the spirit of the event, and she was not offended by them. “It was a roast—that’s what my husband wanted,” Wendy Heckmann said when reached by phone. “He wanted everybody to laugh at his expense, basically, and tell funny stories, and that’s what everybody did.” She added, referring to the reported allegations against Sarver, “That is not the Robert that I know. Robert is a really good person, and I’ve never heard him say anything derogatory or anything with any kind of racial flair or any kind of sexist flair or anything—he’s never done that in my presence.”
The Suns and Sarver had no comment on the SI story.
Flip the page for the video from the ROAST.