It’s been a few years since I did one of these, so let me explain. At various points during the NFL season, all the teams that have don’t go on to the postseason reach the point where their playoff dreams die. In other words, they all eventually lose too many games and/or get too injured to make the playoffs.
Now I’m not talking about teams that were hopeless from day one; no, this is about people who harbored some aspirations going into the season, even if they were delusional. The would-be contenders that don’t play past week 17 all have their own time and cause of death, and Stick a Fork in Em is where I try to figure that out for you. So without further adieu, let’s break out the forensic equipment and see who can start planning for 2011 already. (Please do not ignore the coincidence that several of them were mentioned in my ‘Signs of Life?’ piece a week ago.)
Dallas: Official time of death was Monday night, when Tony Romo got canceled by Michael Boley, but this patient was teetering for a while now. A 1-2 start wasn’t the best way to kick off the season, but not a cause for alarm. The real danger began when they lost a mistake ridden contest to the Titans, capped off by a stupid celebration penalty which led to a easy go ahead score by their opponents. it got worse the next week at Minnesota, when they did the same damn thing. At that point they were 1-4 and in need of a miracle, which looked to be on the way when they went up 20-7 against the Giants. But the light at the end of the tunnel was a freight train in the form of the Giants pass rush. Romo got crushed, the wheels fell off, and they lost 41-35. Now they’re 1-6 with a backup quarterback having to lead them through the next six to eight weeks. Cause of death is a lack of discipline. bad penalties and turnovers have cost them at least three games (Washington, Tennessee, and Minnesota). And now they have to play out a schedule that includes trips to Green Bay, New York, Indianapolis, and Philadelphia along with home dates against the Saints and Eagles. That’s six games they’ll probably be underdogs in, and I’d bet on them losing at least four of them. Even if they beat the easier teams on their schedule that still only puts them in five to seven win territory. Better luck next year fellas.
Minnesota: They expired about 24 hours before the Cowboys did, with a loss to the Packers at Lambeau field. And like the Cowboys, they’d gotten sick long before they killshot was delivered. Training camp injuries to receivers Sidney Rice and Percy Harvin were the first signs of trouble, then came an early loss to Miami which left them at 0-2. A recovery looked possible when they won two of their next three, but then Brett Favre’s former team sent them to 2-4 with little to no chance. We have twin causes of death here; injuries and the schedule. Last season they opened with five straight games against teams that had won a combined 19 games the year before; this year the had four out of six games against playoff teams from 2009, and one game against a competitive Miami team that missed the previous postseason by two games. The only gimme was week three against Detroit. Things were just too hard for a team missing its two best wideouts and starting a 41 year old quarterback who skipped most of training camp. The trade for Randy Moss was too little too late; at 2-5, with Favre hurting and games ahead with Green Bay again, New York, and Philadelphia, the prognosis is .500 at best, which probably won’t cut it.
San Francisco: Now these guys were a little different. No one had them in the Super Bowl, but most of us figured they were better than the rest of their sorry division and would win it by def ault, largely by beating up on it and the AFC West. But as it turns out, they just flat out weren’t as good as we thought they were. Their number one question was whether or not Alex Smith was a sixteen game starter for a playoff team; the answer is a resounding no. Official time of death was Sunday, but the terminal disease set in when they chose to go with Smith as their QB. He either puts up misleadingly good numbers in defeat or he just plays horribly. They came out of the gate completely flat and lost two games to Seattle and Kansas City, which were supposed to be wins on paper. Throw in three expected losses to New Orleans, Atlanta, and Philadelphia, and you had an 0-5 start. A win against Oakland saved them for one more week, but then a defeat to 0-5 Carolina made it obvious that these guys just aren’t that good. The rest of the schedule is favorable, but they’re too far behind to catch up. Cause of death here is misjudgment of their own talent. Draft a quarterback guys, or at least sign one better than what you have!