INDUSTRY INDISCRETIONS WITH CICI SANTARELLI: Coping With Infidelity & Adultery 90210

What happens when a married man is constantly thrown in front of thousands of women who want to be more than just a fan, even if it is just for one night only? It can be a little overwhelming when a spouse or significant other is the highlight of a Monday night on T.V or the center of the flashing lights on the red carpet. Especially when infidelity has become as common in the world of sports as ESPN is popular.

However, this problem goes largely ignored by coaches, managers, and other sports personnel. Often encouraged by fellow team-mates, it seems to have become almost a rite of passage for the newly drafted. Athletes as well as other industry professionals deal with issues which may lead to sexual indiscretion including peer pressure, ego-embellishment, entitlement, boredom, and curiosity. The most powerful urge may be that of sheer opportunity. Needless to say, for these men, access to women mimics the ease of getting fast food in any US city.

We often hear of numerous accounts of sexual exploits committed by athletes and other celebrities, but we rarely know how the women in their lives are affected. Generally, there are three different stages experienced by women who are the victims of adultery.

Stage one is an emotional roller coaster. One minute she may be angry and blaming herself. The next, she is depressed and reminiscent about how the relationship used to be. Often for wives of public figures, the affair is detailed in the media which adds humiliation to the long list of emotions felt at this time.

In the second stage, she is less emotional and may try to make sense of the infidelity by obsessing about details of the affair. Scorned wives may retreat physically and emotionally from the relationship while reaching out to others for help. After the initial shock of the affair has worn off, the wife has an important choice to make: fight or flight? Does she fight for the relationship by learning to cope with the infidelity or does she take flight and leave the past and the cheating husband behind her?

Sports wives' responses to adultery tend to vary by their motives for getting involved with a public figure in the first place. Women who were drawn to the marriage for the glamour of being with an athlete and the perks that come with it more than for love or the actual relationship tend to be more accepting of their husbands' or significant others' affairs. They fear losing financial security and the "lifestyle". Women who married before their husbands obtained celebrity status are sometimes likely to not tolerate long-term extramarital affairs; although, many choose to deal with their spouses' "one-night stands", because it "meant nothing" and involved no emotional intimacy.

Wives generally feel less threatened and more likely to forgive their husbands if their husbands were not 'in love' with the other woman. They may take into account their children, economics, general survival, and religious views when evaluating the random affairs. In most cases, the sports wife does not have a career of her own, so she often feels pressured to stay in fear of being unable to provide for herself or her children. The reason for accepting the infidelity in any case can also be as simple as a lack of self esteem for some.