I met this girl back when I was in my early 20's I can't remember her name, but that is irrelevant to the story. I was home for the summer from The Ohio State University and like any young guy I was looking to hook up with as many young ladies as I could. I was trying to get over a break up so you could say my "Pimp Focus" at the time wasn't strong.
I met this girl at the zoo of all places and trust me when I tell you this she was doing me a favor by talking to me. This was definitely an upgrade. Face was beautiful, body was outstanding, she was smart, she was funny and just overall a very cool person.
I was an underdog in the relationship. I had the talent to be a #2 seed, but multiple factors had dropped me down to a #7 seed. She was a strong #2 seed, but I convinced myself I could pull the upset.
First couple of dates (games) I was blown out of the building, but by the 3rd date (game) I took her somewhere I felt comfortable (hip-hop club) did my little freestyle thing and got myself back into the mix (series). By the time date #4 came around I was feeling good about my chances. She came over to my house we watched a movie and I determined it was time to go for some "Bed Gammon" action.
After some back and forth she decided I was worthy and it was my time to shine. It was my time to take control of the relationship (series). I was at home and with the momentum it was destiny!!!!
2 minutes and 23 seconds.
That is about how long it lasted. The two words that a man never wants to hear from a woman are:
Ironically about two minutes was about how long the New Orleans Hornets were in their game last night with the Denver Nuggets and similar to the young lady in question who gave me one more mercy date before "Fading to Bolivia" with Mike Tyson this series is now officially over.
The Hornets have to be feeling like I felt the day after my "58 Point Loss". Depressed, angry, confused, defeated, unsure, bewildered and any other negative adjective you can think of.
The good news for the Hornets I went on to have many "Bed Gammon" conquests over the years, so in the long run this will just be a blip on the radar (a historical blip, but still a blip). I am sure there won't be many times in the career of Chris Paul that he plays 36 minutes and only scores 4 points.
So fans of the Hornets should just laugh it off (like I tried to do in my 2 minute fiasco didn't work) and start looking forward to next year.
Side note to my story. I learned another valuable lesson that night. Never ever brag or boast about your "Bed Gammon" skills because you are tempting fate. I told this girl I was going to rock her world, that planets would move and she would be seeing stars. It didn't quite work out that way. It is much better to under state your skills, lower expectations and BAM!!
With that being said I did create a quote out of that experience that I will use from time to time to explain a subpar "Bed Gammon" performance and was the actual quote I used ten seconds after she said "That's it?"
"Sorry even Jordan had an off night from time to time."
hahaha, robert, this is great. love this.
good stuff.
awwwwwwwww said it ain't so the great robert Littal a 2 minute brother lol
Honestly only Littal could take this beat down and make it into a sex story and get away with it.
It is ok. Accidents do happen
That was out of left field, but I like it.
LOL!
Nicely said:"Sorry even Jordan had an off night from time to time."
p.s. I will use it next time:)
Robert
you limp dicked muthafucka!!!Ha ha ha haha, that was Great!!
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