Heading into last night’s Royal Rumble, WWE legitimately had fans on the edge of their seats in anticipation of the Road to Wrestlemania. Today? WWE has inspired a #CancelWWENetwork hashtag to be the #1 trend WORLDWIDE. Yeah, it was that bad. Let’s take a look.
The Reigns Era Begins
The WWE Universe had high hopes for the annual Royal Rumble match, with plenty of people expecting to finally see Daniel Bryan win his way back into the Wrestlemania spotlight. There was a ton of anticipation heading into the bout, and then it actually started and we were quickly reminded that the WWE really doesn’t give a damn about its fans. But let’s not start with the bad, lets take it from the top.
The match wasn’t all terrible. After starting with the Miz and R-Truth, the third contestant of the night was none other than ECW legend and Tables connoisseur Bubba Ray Dudley! A huge “E-C-Dub” chant breaks out and this is seriously pretty awesome. Bubba takes out Miz and holds his legs up as Truth hits a flying head-butt to the crotch a la Devon Dudley. Bubba yells for the tables but Miz attacks before getting hit with a 3-D and eliminated then Bubba tosses Truth and we see Luke Harper make his way out as #4. Up next is Bray Wyatt at five and he and Harper beat Bubba down then toss him.
Staredown between Harper and Wyatt who make an alliance instead of fighting. Out next is Curtis Axel, but Erick Rowan takes him out and hits the ring. Harper fakes aligning with Rowan then he and Wyatt beat him down. The big men start fighting against the ropes before Wyatt eliminates both of them and waits for the next entrant who is… the Boogeyman?! Of course it’s the Boogeyman. Him and Bray have a weird-off where Boogey foams at the mouth and Wyatt crabwalks before tossing Boogeyman out of the ring.Wyatt eliminates Sin Cara and Zack Ryder for his already fifth elimination. He grabs a mic and says it’s an open invitation and he’s not going anywhere and then he starts singing with the crowd.
Time for 10 and… IT’S DANIEL BRYAN! YES! YES! YES! YES!
The crowd absolutely explodes as Bryan hits his signature moves on Wyatt. Bryan tosses Wyatt through the middle rope and then hits a suicide dive to the outside through the middle rope that was pretty awesome. Both men are on the outside but neither has been eliminated.
We’re at #14 now and BANG! Out comes good ole Diamond Dallas Page! DDP hits the ring and immediately starts to hit everyone with a Diamond Cutter. No seriously, everyone.
In the middle of all this, Rusev makes his way out and eliminates DDP and Fandango before staring Wyatt down. While they do that, Bryan is back and he hits a flying drop kick to both big men and begins to unload on them both with kicks to the chest. Bryan goes back and forth before Wyatt and Rusev counter and Rusev tosses Bryan over the top rope. Don’t worry though Bryan counters Rusev and… HEY WHAT THE HELL BRAY WYATT JUST ELIMINATED DANIEL BRYAN?! YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME! ROMAN REIGNS IS GOING TO WIN THIS ISN’T HE?! I HATE YOU VINCE MCMAHON.
Okay sorry had to get all of that out. The crowd is in total shock right now as Bryan has been eliminated just after the half-way point of the match. And by total shock I mean Brock Lesnar beating Taker at ‘Mania crowd shock.
The match must go on with or without the Beard but the crowd doesn’t like it. Not. One. Bit.
LOUD chants for Daniel Bryan to come back and the crowd is legitimately devastated by Bryan’s elimination. They begin to boo as Kofi Kingston makes his way out to the ring. The crowd is literally booing the entire match and they might actually do this for the rest of the night. There’s you warning Vince, don’t force Reigns down our throats.
Adam Rose makes his way out with the Rosebuds just as Kofi gets tossed out of the ring. No worries, it’s time for another Kofi Rumble moment.
The Rosebuds actually catch Kingston before parading him ringside and pushing him back in the ring. So even the Kofi moment was a disappointment. Awesome.
More boos and Daniel Bryan chants from the crowd now, and then at 19 Roman Reigns makes his entrance. You thought the boos earlier were bad? You ain’t heard nothing yet. Some incredibly loud boos for Reigns as he makes his way to the ring. And that’s warning number two Mr. McMahon. The boos don’t stop either as Reigns unloads his signature moves and eliminates both Gold and Stardust. You have to feel kind of bad for the guy, he isn’t terrible, the fans just don’t want him being forced down our throats by the WWE. And instead of embracing his inevitable win, the fans are revolting. Which yeah this happened last year but hey, WWE doesn’t need to learn from their mistakes!
The whole match is basically pointless to the crowd right now. Reigns fights off Rusev and Wyatt and just gets booed even more loudly for his troubles.
WAIT MIZDOW IS HERE! THE CROWD IS HAPPY AGAIN!
Oh great, Miz is here and he tells Mizdow he’s taking his spot. Reigns knocks Miz over and Mizdow says screw it and hits the ring. He takes everyone out and the crowd is giving him a huge pop (hey WWE, #PUSHSANDOW!) but then Rusev eliminates Mizdow and everyone is back to booing again. Literally, the crowd has no reaction to anything. Barely counting down, barely even paying attention. Great work here so far WWE.
Ryback hits the ring and everyone in there is basically 6’3 and 250. You have Reigns, Ryback, Rusev, Wyatt, Big E and Jack Swagger. Seriously, just rub Bryan’s size and elimination in our faces guys. CM Punk chants break out now and Kane makes his way to the ring, keeping that whole “Big Men Only” rule in place. The crowd continues to boo everything, only cheering when Reigns gets beat up. Another great sign for that Wrestlemania main event.
Dean Ambrose finally hits the ring and there’s someone the fans love in the Rumble again. Reigns and Ambrose team up to eliminate Titus O’Neill four seconds after the big man enters the ring and OH HEY MORE BOOS FROM THE CROWD! Bad News Barrett at 27 and seriously, this crowd hates it all. Rusev eats a chokeslam and rolls out of the ring, never being officially eliminated.
Cesaro at 28, Big Show at 29 and…. Dolph Ziggler at 30! Finally someone to cheer for! Ziggler hits the ring and starts paying some serious homage to Shawn Michaels by super-kicking everyone in the ring.
Ziggler hits the top rope and… eats a knockout punch from Big Show because it’s 1998 and he needs the push. Show and Kane eliminate Ziggler and we’re all back to not caring again. Kane and Show then eliminate Bray Wyatt and Ryback and we’re down to Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, Kane and Big Show. We can all see where this is going right?
Reigns and Ambrose team up to go at the two big men, but eventually the giants take control. Ambrose eats a chokeslam from Big Show and is tossed by the big men, and now it’s Roman Reigns against Kane and Big Show. This is meant to make Reigns look strong, but the crowd wants none of this and they chant some cuss words equivalent to a bulls feces at the wrestlers while Michael Cole tries to play it all off.
The big men try to eliminate Reigns but he makes a furious comeback… and the crowd boos. He gets beat up and… the crowd boos again. There’s no winning folks.
Show eventually tries to eliminate Kane and the big men try to chokeslam each other over the top rope, so Reigns comes in and flips them both over for the win. SHow and Kane get back in the ring and beat the hell out of Reigns when… IF YA SMELLLLLLLLL, WHAT THE ROCK, IS COOKING!
The Great One is here! Rocky hits the ring and gives Kane a People’s Elbow. Show grabs him for a chokeslam but Rock low-blows him, followed by a Superman Punch from Reigns and a Rock Bottom. WWE literally decided that if the crowd boos Reigns, they’ll send Rock out to make the save. and it didn’t even work. Even louder boos for Reigns and even Rocky can’t save this.
BUT WAIT, Rusev hits the ring since he was never eliminated and… Reigns tosses him over. MORE BOOS!
Rock hits the ring again to put Reigns over, but it’s not working despite the Great One’s best efforts.
I mean look at the crowd, they could care less.
Out comes the Authority and they are just as mad as can be! Triple H yells at Rock so maybe we get Rock-Trips at ‘Mania? You’re right, probably not. Reigns continues to celebrate to loud boos as the show closes.
We also got a totally weird Reigns-Rock interview on the post-show where Reigns was so bad it confused Rock to the point that he delivered one of his worst promos ever.
Seriously, WWE better save this on Raw, or I’m canceling the Network and selling my Wrestlemania 31 tickets. This was some Grade A garbage.
FLIP THE PAGES TO SEE WHO WILL TAKE ON REIGNS IN THE WRESTLEMANIA 31 MAIN EVENT…..