With less than two weeks until one of the least anticipated Wrestlemania’s in recent memory, WWE brought out the big guns to interest fans in the biggest event of the year. While Brock Lesnar was (shockingly) not in the building, the Authority’s biggest foil made a surprise appearance to bail out the Viper while John Cena finally got his match signed, sealed and delivered. Let’s take a look at what went down last night.
The Stinger and the Viper Clean House
We start our night off with Seth Rollins and the Authority in the ring as Rollins complains about getting screwed over last week. Mr. Money in the Bank says he bets the Authority enjoyed it too as Orton mocked him and beat him last week. Rollins says that Orton has never dealt with anyone like him and if the Viper wants a match at Wrestlemania, he’s got one. Under one condition of course. Rollins says that Orton has to meet him in the ring tonight if he wants to fight at ‘Mania. Out comes the Viper who immediately accepts and he vows if the Authority doesn’t take him out tonight he’ll wipe out ‘the future’ of WWE himself.
Later, we see Rollins talking to J&J Security and Jamie Noble tries to tell him he’s letting the briefcase get to his head. Big mistake Jamie. Nobody questions the franchise!
That’s enough of that. Noble quits, and then Mercury follows him out and Rollins has lost his security.
Again we see Rollins backstage as he interrupts an argument between Kane and Big Show. Kane tells him that he’s been getting cockier ever since Kane helped him win the Money in the Bank contract. The Demon says that he is going to use this opportunity to decide against helping Rollins and won’t be ringside for his match with Orton. Big Show does the same and stares down Rollins as Mr. Money in the Bank’s allies continue to slip away one by one.
Backstage again and this time we see Rollins talking to Stephanie McMahon and Triple H asking what they’ll do to fix his issues. Stephanie tells him to be a big boy and deal with his own issues. Rollins blames Stephanie for sending Kane and Big Show home last week as the reason he was beat up and then Triple H gets in his face. Rollins asks Triple H if he’s taking a break from playing hide and seek with Sting to step up to him and challenges him to ruin the future of the WWE. Steph tells him to man up and Triple H tells him to handle his business before things get much worse for him.
We finally hit the ring and Orton is waiting for Rollins for our main event. Rollins stops on the stage and grabs a mic and says it took Orton three weeks to tear the Authority apart and have everyone fighting each other before he begins to do that evil laugh/cackle thing that is so perfect and tells Orton it only took him three hours to make the Viper look like a fool. Out comes the entire Authority and yeah Randy is screwed.
They make their way down to the ring as Orton grabs a chair and braces for the worse and eventually he is surrounded by Kane, Show, Rollins and J&J Security. But then the lights cut off. Is that a crow? Could it be?
STING IS IN THE CENTER OF THE RING! For the first time ever, the Stinger is ready to throwdown on Monday Night Raw and I think Orton’s face pretty much sums it up perfectly. Seriously, the weird stare and Sting just kind of looking around like “Sup Fellas?” like him being in a WWE ring on Raw is totally normal was perfect.
After the shock of the moment wears off, the Viper and the Stinger clean house with their bat and chair, respectively.
This is followed by the customary ‘Beat J&J Security down to send a message’ segment of our show. Sting grabs Noble, points at Triple H to let him know what’s coming at ‘Mania and drops the little guy with a Scorpion Death Drop.
Not to be outdone, Orton hits Mercury with an RKO that legitimately might have killed the guy.
Now that’s how you sell an RKO! Mercury must be taking lessons from his boss on the side.
Seriously though, pretty cool segment to close out the show. I can’t say I ever expected to see Sting and Orton standing side-by-side. Then again, I never thought I’d see Sting in the middle of a WWE ring on Raw either. But here we are, less than two weeks away from his first official match in WWE against the Game. Awesome.
Lesnar & Reigns Are Extremely Confident, Heyman is Extremely Good
We get a taped promo from Brock Lesnar discussing his match with Roman Reigns. Lesnar says he was put on Earth to hurt people and to conquer them. To Lesnar, Wrestlemania just means he kicks someone’s ass on a big stage and that he’s getting paid to do so. Brock doesnt’ care if people were made he beat the Undertaker, he takes pride in it. Lesnar says regardless of whether or not he stays in WWE or goes, he will still be champion and he guarantees that he will beat Reigns down.
The Beast says he doesn’t have to hunt, he has to defend and he says if you think Brock Lesnar in hunting mode is bad, wait until you see him in defense mode. Lesnar says there won’t be a fairytale ending for Reigns at ‘Mania, he’s going to get his ass kicked. The Champ promises that at Wrestlemania, he is going to eff up Roman Reigns. The end.
Seriously just watch the video, it was awesome.
Well then.
Later, we get Paul Heyman in the center of the ring and he says that Brock Lesnar is not going to Wrestlemania to fight, he’s going for war, which is definitely not a good thing for Roman Reigns. Heyman says it doesn’t matter what WWE does, because everyone is stuck with the Beast as their champion. Of course, this means that Heyman’s mic is going to get cut off for the third week in a row and Paulie sells it beautifully. Back to working, Heyman says that Reigns can’t beat up Brock, let alone beat him, let alone beat him at Wrestlemania and someone should have told Reigns that.
This of course brings out Reigns and well Heyman isn’t happy with that. Not. One. Bit.
Reigns says he has no issues with Heyman because he doesn’t think Paul is talking trash, he’s actually telling people what he can do. Reigns addresses Lesnar and says he expects a war, but if he gets carried out it will be by his family and with the WWE title on his shoulder next to the huge chip that’s there from people doubting him. Reigns says he will win because he can, he will, and he believes.
Cute.
Oh and of course- Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar face-off next week on Raw.
Other Results:
Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler & Dean Ambrose defeat Bad News Barrett, Stardust & Luke Harper via pin-fall – A repeat of the same exact match from Smackdown because nobody actually watches Smackdown apparently. This was some good old fashioned chaos that saw a lot of false finishes and some pretty good action. Things begin to breakdown in the ring and in the midst of everyone hitting each other Ziggler accidentally super-kicks his partner Bryan. This allows Barrett to set up for Wasteland and toss Ziggler out of the ring but he turns around into a Dirty Deeds from Ambrose for the 1-2-3.
This of course sets off a mad scramble for everyone to grab the Intercontinental title because sure. Stardust ends up with it and tries to escape through the crowd but Ambrose cuts him off and takes it. Eventually the belt ends up with R-Truth, who tosses it in the ring instead of giving it to Luke Harper- who happens to be taken out by a flying Ambrose from the crowd. In the ring Bryan picks up the belt and then Ziggler tries to take it from him. Both men talk a little trash and then begin to brawl in the middle of the ring. As the two favorites throw blows, Stardust tries to get in the middle and eats a super-kick for his troubles.
Luke Harper tries to rush the two and he ends up missing a clotheline and taking a running knee to the face from Bryan.
And then, it’s Bad News time. The Champ hits the ring and literally hits everyone with a Bullhammer. 
No seriously, EVERYONE.
Barrett eventually leaves with his title for the first time in what feels like months. Not pictured is R-Truth eating a Bullhammer ringside as BNB made his way out.
Rusev Finally Accepts Cena’s Challenge – Michael Cole welcomes John Cena out for his U.S. Title match contract signing and Cena looks hesitant to sign. Cena grabs the mic and says Rusev disgusts him and he is ashamed that Rusev is the United States champion. Cena says their contract is a declaration of a Wrestlemania revolution (seriously, he actually said this) and he’s going to fight for his country!
Out comes Rusev, minus Lana and plus some guy in a bad hair-piece with an even worse Russian accent. The man says he’s Rusev’s lawyer and since Lana, not Rusev, accepted the match the Bulgarian Brute will not be signing the contract. He says Rusev will sign if Cena lets him read a prepared statement without interrupting. Rusev begins reading and basically calls every American in the past, present and future a loser as Cena starts to freak out. Rusev signs the contract and then flips the table and runs as fast as humanly possible out of the ring.
Unfortunately for Rusev’s lawyer, he’s not as good at exiting the ring as his client and well…
Ouch.
Cena-Rusev for the U.S. Title is on and poppin’ for Wrestlemania 31.
Bray Wyatt Answers the Undertaker – Wyatt cuts a promo saying the Undertaker tried to burn fear into his heart but the only thing he succeeded in was turning his chair to dust as he pours it out of the urn. Wyatt says everyone is asking what is left of the Dead Man- agony or fear? He said last ‘Mania brought a broken streak and a broken, empty soul who is now afraid to show his face because the world will see how empty he is. Wyatt says Takers destiny being taken is a shame that almost brought him to tears, but the Dead Man’s fate is now sealed. Wyatt says Wrestlemania will be the Undertaker’s final resting place and his coronation. Wyatt promises to take his rightful place among the Gods and after Wrestlemania, no one will be safe. Behold, the new face of fear.
As usual, awesome promo from Wyatt who is basically carrying this program by himself. The kid is definitely taking the opportunity to show us he’s ready for the massive push that’s coming his way soon.
The Brass Ring Club defeats the New Day via pin-fall – First things first. Even if WWE refuses to accept the greatest nickname ever for Cesaro and Tyson Kidd, they will forever be known as the Brass Ring Club in this writer’s mind. Because the name is awesome, and they are awesome, and WWE is boring.
Come on look at that awesome!
Cesaro steals the win with a cheap shot on Kofi Kingston and a roll-up win for the champs. Out comes the Matadores who fight New Days post-match and then El Torito takes out Cesaro because WWE hates their fans and the tag-team division and Cesaro.
Big Show Makes a Statement – Big Show beat the crap out of Erick Rowan (who went from 100 to zero real quick) for like the fifth time. He heads up top and hits an elbow drop before leaving the ring as medics check on Big Red.
Okay.
Somebody Gon’ Get Their Ass.. Tossed – Kane gathered a bunch of superstars into the ring to have a Wrestlemania demonstration to show that he’s going to be the only one winning the battle royal. Mark Henry cuts him off and throws himself into the Andre the Giant Battle Royal before starting a brawl in the ring. Eventually we get Kane and Henry trying to knock each other out of the ring. Henry scoop slams Kane and knocks him out of the ring before Axelmania tries to run wild on the World’s Strongest Man. No dice, Henry tosses Axel (sad face) and celebrates.
Ryback defeats The Miz – This was basically a match to further the upcoming break-up of Miz and Mizdow for the 10th straight week. The two argue with each other on the outside after Ryback held Miz up for Mizdow to hit. Mizdow considered it before deciding not to do what we all want him to do. The argument outside allows Ryback to hit Miz with a Meathook clothesline and then Shell Shocked for the win. Afterwards, Mizdow helps Miz up but eats a Skull Crushing Finale for his troubles.
Nikki Bella defeats AJ Lee via pinfall – The Bellas are taking on AJ and Paige at ‘Mania, so expect some variation of those four fighting each other over the next two weeks. Yay Total Divas!
