Chris Mancinelli has shared his personal experience of being sued by his father, Alfred, all because he was determined to save him from falling victim to a romance scam.
In the world of online scams, romance scams have become increasingly prevalent, causing devastating financial and emotional consequences for unsuspecting individuals. Alfred discovered alarming evidence of suspicious behavior and financial transactions involving his dad and the scammer posing as Alexa Bliss, a professional wrestling personality.
Alfred lost a whopping $1 million in retirement savings to this romance scam.
When Mr. Mancinelli tried to intervene, moving his father’s last $100,000 to a safe account, Alfred sued him — his loyalty was to “Lexi.”
“There was nothing we could do to convince him,” said Mr. Mancinelli, 47, a chemical engineer in Collegeville, Pa. An elder care specialist deemed Alfred “really sharp,” he said, but lacking purpose.
Mr. Mancinelli and others who have tried to awaken their loved ones from this trance often feel powerless, even after they’ve done everything to shatter the fiction and protect their assets. They say it’s as if their parent had been brainwashed into a cult.
In some ways, they were: These victims were slowly groomed by con artists posing as love interests, investment advisers or government officials, among others. Once ensconced inside this bubble, they are unable or unwilling to acknowledge that they have become victims. Even when their own children are warning them of the con.
“Romance scams are the most pernicious,” said Darius Kingsley, head of consumer banking practices as JPMorgan Chase. Some victims have become confrontational after being told that their wires were not going to lovers but were being used for nefarious purposes.
“They don’t believe it,” Mr. Kingsley added, which means banks may need to shut down their accounts if the behavior continues.
“For many people, what is going on is they are looking to fulfill an unmet need for companionship, an unmet need for financial security, an unmet need for a purpose,” said Marti DeLiema, an interdisciplinary gerontologist and assistant professor at the University of Minnesota’s School of Social Work, who researches financial fraud and exploitation.
Victims are often caught up in fantasies created by perpetrators, isolating them from their real-life existence and families.
That’s what happened with Alfred Mancinelli, who had already endured tragic losses in his life. He and his wife lost their first child to leukemia when she was 3; then, he lost his wife when their boys were 9 and 14, raising them largely on his own. Later, he was forced into early retirement from his position as an electronic technician for Con Ed, the New York power company.
Chris Mancinelli said his father had “opened his heart” with some of his scammers, which may have played into how he was manipulated.
Before the Alexa Bliss impostor, Alfred sent money to someone called “Kate,” who said she had a sick 4-year-old daughter. He also sent money to “Anna,” who was helping a friend caring for unwell children.
“I believe they crafted stories that pulled on those heart strings,” Mr. Mancinelli said.
Alfred’s involvement in scams dated back to 2018, but worsened during the isolating days of the pandemic. By the spring of 2021, his once $900,000 nest egg had dropped to $128,000. Mr. Mancinelli estimates that most of his father’s money went to one or more Alexa Bliss impostors — her persona is frequently used in scams — and what seemed to be a satellite of associates.
His chat messages with the sham Alexa read like a soap opera. There were the battles with his son, whom he disowned, after Mr. Mancinelli tried to safeguard his money; other “evil” meddlers trying to spoil their relationship; and ongoing references to Vince McMahon, the former wrestling promoter, whom the fake Alexa accused of humiliating her after she refused his advances. But Alfred was always there, ready to extend emotional and financial support.
The Alexa impersonator often claimed to be hospitalized for bad menstrual periods, and would plead with Alfred to send money so the hospital could begin treating her. “Tell me how much do you have left baby,” the impostor said in a chat.
Though the scammers refused to chat with Alfred using audio or video, they occasionally reached through the screen, sending him trinkets in the mail and even pizza delivery for his birthday.
Mr. Mancinelli sought help from an elder care manager and a therapist, and he cleaned up his father’s Google account (which was connected to two devices with Nigerian I.P. addresses). He set up a trust and a financial plan to help his father manage his expenses.
When that didn’t go far enough, he pursued the nuclear option — he took away his father’s last $100,000, putting it in another account.
Blocked from sending money to a purportedly ailing Alexa, Alfred became enraged. That was when he sued his son, in February 2023. He wanted his money back, plus interest and legal fees.
At that point, Mr. Mancinelli asked himself: “Why am I in federal court trying to help my dad? Why don’t I just let it go to zero?”
A month after he returned the money, it was gone.
“If he didn’t pass, he would have kept going,” said Mr. Mancinelli, who found documents indicating that his father may have been getting ready to sell his home. His father had also taken out personal loans using his car and televisions as collateral.
The fraudsters knew so much about Alfred that they also began to target his family: Mr. Mancinelli was threatened, he said, but scammers also sent his youngest granddaughter photos of Alfred, demanding gift cards.
“The girls all knew that their grandpa was getting scammed,” Mr. Mancinelli added, “so they were already on alert for suspicious activity.”
Chris Mancinelli’s story highlights the unfortunate reality that people can fall victim to scams. It’s a reminder for everyone to exercise caution and remain alert in their online interactions, especially when financial matters are involved.
