This is a well written piece by Josh Gordon and the editors of Medium. Gordon makes some valid points, while also making a 1000 excuses why he is the predicament he is in. When you give an excuse, but try to follow it up with “I’m not using that as an excuse”, it is still an excuse.
But, here are some of the valid points he made, mostly about people in the media.
Chuck, you have never so much as shook my hand, let alone exchanged a single word with me. Few of you have, to be honest. Respectfully, your worry over my “problems” with substance abuse and my twisting descent into darkness and, apparently, my impending death, is misplaced — mostly because you have very little idea what you are talking about. None of you do, even those of you who seem curiously obsessed with the goings-on in my life:
You’re done with me, Stephen A.? That presumes we ever actually got started. How, exactly, can you be “done” with someone you have never had a meaningful conversation with beyond a quick First Take spot? Regardless, I am relieved that you no longer need to harbor sympathy for me — mostly because I never asked for it, never wanted it, and certainly never needed it. I am not a victim here; I never claimed to be one, either.
And Cris, your level of interest in my life is even more puzzling, especially considering we have never met, either.
I get his point, but he can’t be that NAIVE, it is their job to give opinions, that is what they do. So, even if they don’t know you, they look at your track record and make those opinions. Are they valid opinions? That is debatable and I understand him wanting to clear up the perceptions about him, so I give him that point.
But, then here comes the excuses.
Truth is, I have not smoked marijuana since before I was drafted by the Browns in 2012 — and there are years’ worth of drug tests to prove it.
So, then how did I get here, you ask? That’s easy. I messed up. But to even begin to understand why I messed up, you need to know the Josh Gordon that existed before the NFL.
I don’t speak of it often, and even less so publicly, but I faced a fair amount of hardship growing up. My father was pretty much out of the picture, which left my mom to fend for herself with three sons at home. She did the best she could, but there were large stretches of time as an adolescent when I was completely alone — with no supervision, no one to guide me, and no one to keep me in line.
We lived in a poor section of Houston called Fondren, and to say it was a rough place would be putting it lightly. The other kids in the neighborhood weren’t well off, either, but it always felt like we had even less to our name. We moved at least seven times, and things were so bad sometimes, there were days I would come home from school and there would be no electricity, heat or hot water.
Over time, particularly after my older brothers moved out, I started hanging out with the wrong kind of people. The kind who would think nothing not only of carrying guns, but using them. Back then, smoking marijuana wasn’t an addiction for any of us — we were still boys, basically. It was just what everyone did. It was everywhere, just like alcohol was.
Gordon goes on to say that doesn’t excuse his actions, so my point is why include it unless you want some sort of sympathy?
His upbringing isn’t different than a lot of athletes or young black males in general and most of them are doing just fine, so I am not buying any of that.
He goes on to explain he thought his ban on alcohol ended after the season but admits he didn’t check with the NFL. He drank a few beers while he was on his way to Vegas and that is why he failed his test. Josh Gordon’s problem is Josh Gordon, nothing more, nothing less.
Lastly, Gordon wants you to know he isn’t an addict.
What I do know is the following: I am not a drug addict; I am not an alcoholic; I am not someone who deserves to be dissected and analyzed like some tragic example of everything that can possibly go wrong for a professional athlete. And … I am not going to die on account of the troubled state you wrongly believe my life to be in. I am a human being, with feelings and emotions and scars and flaws, just like anyone else. I make mistakes — I have made a lot of mistakes — but I am a good person, and I will persevere.
If I have a “problem,” it is that I am only 23 years old — with a lot left to learn. I’ve come a long way from those mean Fondren streets, but it’s clear that I can be a better me — one who kids coming up to me for selfies and autographs can be proud of. I want that future for myself. And I truly believe that what I am going through right now will only make me stronger. I believe that my future is bright.
These are nice words that I hope are true, but the actions say otherwise. When you are a professional athlete you have to understand that if you screw up people are going to talk about it. You don’t want to be seen in a negative light, stop screwing up. It is as simple as that.