With the tragic death of Steve McNair, a lot of eyes were opened to the covert side of some professional athlete’s lives. It’s a side that exposed the fact that some pro- athletes are not “one woman men.” It also showed how some women can be swept off their feet by fame and fortune.

People wonder how such indiscretions make the wives of such athletes feel, but the story presented here offers a different perspective. This is an account from a young woman who isn’t the “wife”, but is treated as such. How does she feel knowing that in the eyes of the “first wives club”, and those unaccustomed to the “life”, she is perceived as less than a lady or a home wrecker? How does she feel knowing that “her man” has a wife and kids at home? Obviously, her entire existence is affected both positively and negatively, but how so?

What you are about to read is an interview from a woman who was once a mistress of a NFL player, for almost five years.

This is Part 1 of a two part interview. The emails you will see are real.

Names have been changed to protect those involved. At BSO, we aren’t about exposing, we just want to gain a better understanding of what it’s like to be the mistress of a professional athlete:

RL- How do you feel about people who refer to mistresses as whores, sluts, marriage wreckers, manipulators, etc? What do you say to them?

Tina- I understand why they use those terms. Most people don’t see a mistress as a woman just like themselves. Some mistresses ARE all those things; there are some women who target married men. I can’t speak for those types of women. I can only say who I am. I am a Christian, God-fearing mother, sister, daughter, niece, and friend. Was I wrong for loving a married man? YES!! However, I don’t know any perfect person; my sin is just a little different. It’s no smaller or bigger. It’s different. I never saw myself as a woman who would accept sharing a man, but it happened. I didn’t know for almost two years [he was married,] and once I found out, I know this will make no sense to you, but his marriage wasn’t real to me.

Our LOVE was real; I dealt with who I knew him to be. I don’t know who he was when he was at their house but inside our world he LOVED ME, WANTED TO BE WITH ME but because of timing he had married her before our love came. He married her because he was tired of whoring around and his grandmother was dying and thought she was a good choice. He never thought real love existed, so how could he plan for it?

I wasn’t a monster; I didn’t sit home and think of ways to get him to leave her. NO, never! I loved him and love isn’t selfish so my LOVE for him made me want to remain cool with the arrangement. [I made the decision]NOT be all over town with him because I KNEW the hurt of hearing about him creeping. Hell, he was cheating on me too!! I was crying the same if not MORE tears than his wife when I would catch him. I dealt with the truth of knowing he was in her bed minutes before waking up early to cuddle with me at our home every morning.

Chicks were on blogs and MySpace contacting ME not her, because no one heard of her, only ME. All his outside women came after me. So for people who hate the mistress, I say, be careful because you may be me one day. Your daughter may be me; then what? Everyone’s been a fool for love. I’m just lucky enough to know how big a fool I was and learn from it. Some women never know they were played and never learn from mistakes, so they end up as older, lonely women hating on women like me living the f*******life they dream about (smile.)

They say all those negative things about a mistress because they secretly envy it. They envy the life they THINK we live but despite all the B.S. one fact can never be ignored; these men risk it ALL for stolen moments with US! Their husbands risk their entire family to see OUR smile. So they have to lash out at the mistress because in the secret place in their mind, they know it’s not [just] p*ssy. The man settled with them, grew up and learned who they [really] were, then went after and did whatever it took to get/keep the woman he really wanted. Yep, that’s the funky part, but I’m biased; I was a mistress.

RL- How did you meet?

Tina- We met in March ’04 when he called my cell phone after seeing a picture taken of me at my bridal shower. My best friend was also engaged at the same time, to his brother! We never met in person, but he called me under the pretense of helping my friend and his brother plan their wedding since I would be the matron (I was getting married in May, them in July) of honor and he would be the best man.

RL- How did he win you over to the point where you canceled your own engagement?

Tina- I wasn’t in love, per se, with my fiancé. I was getting married to please my family. After Frederick’s original call, he hung up and called back and asked what color under wear I had on (smile.) From that moment, we texted and talked several times until that Thursday, when we agreed to meet, to “go over wedding plans.” We went to dinner and honestly I had already planned to have a great fling before my wedding. My then fiancé was horrible in bed and I’d never been with an athlete, so we slept together that night and the following four. On Tuesday he said that he knew I wasn’t in love and thought we could really be together. He said GOD brought him to me, to save me. A week later, I packed ONE bag and canceled my wedding, quit my job, and moved to Florida.

RL- Tell me a little bit about how it was early on in your relationship?

Tina- My best friend mentioned a girl in Atlanta that said he “burnt” her but when I spoke with him about it he denied it. Then a huge rift came between me and my THEN best friend (also my daughters God mother) because she told on him. He put her and her hubby on financial punishment, so then she pumped me with how great he was and [how] in love he was with me. I found some risqué photos of a stripper out of Houston that he had on the computer. Come to find out this same woman was also at my BFF’s wedding with us in Miami. (She also claims Frederick helped buy her house. He denies it to me but she was in the picture early on in his career. I NOW know that.)

RL- Once you found out he was married why didn’t you leave?

Tina- I did end things for awhile but by that point I was very much in love with him and our life together. I quit my job, moved, and canceled out everyone who didn’t agree with our relationship. I was crippled almost. Everything I had, he provided, down to my tampons. So where was I leaving him to go [sic}? My bank account, my car, all of if it was from him. Looking back I see he crippled me but at the time I thought it was love………………………………….

PART 2 WILL DEBUT TUESDAY AUGUST 4TH