Yo, DMac! I’m sure you heard the news by now; I am coming to Philly. It is all over Twitter. Do you tweet? T.O. is hilarious on there you should follow him. He is going hard on Jim Rome, but hey, that isn’t what I want to talk about.
Since we are teammates now, I figured I would write this letter so we can start to get to know each other better. My first question:
Do you have any dogs?
If you do, I am sorry. I am reformed now. Twenty months in jail will do that for you. If you want me to come by and feed your puppies some Scooby snacks or something just let me know, I am there. Maybe the 60 Minutes crew can come along.
Man this is crazy! Did Andy tell you in advance they were going to sign me? Because I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings.
There are rumors that you get threatened when people take your shine. T.O. tweeted about it. I told you man, he is a great tweeter. They say you ran Jeff Garcia out of town because you didn’t want there to be any competition.
Then, last year it was the benching incident. We get the Sunday Ticket in the Pen, and man you looked mad as hell. You kept talking about it all the way up to the NFC Championship game. It was like; I don’t know man, like you were still bitter as hell.
They say you don’t really trust Andy Reid and that is unfortunate because Andy and I are cool now. He signed off on my deal! He promised me he will make me into a complete quarterback. I hope that doesn’t ruffle your feathers. Get it? Eagles….Feathers…
Come on DMac, you know that made you laugh! Here is the truth- I am not ready to take your job yet. I am going to play some wildcat, maybe a little WR and just learn the system the best that I can.
Hopefully you will help me, we are brothers. Man, we suppose to support one another. So, to all those haters, in the words of Ocho Cinco, “Child Please”.
I heard the fans are already asking for you to be traded. Man that is absurd because it’s going to take at least a year for me to compete for your job.
I hope this is cool with you. They say competition is good for the soul. We can battle like Nas and Jay Z.
Wouldn’t that be fun? We are going to have so much fun together, DMac. I can’t wait to get to camp.
We road dogs now!