WWE Monday Night Raw came to us live from the site of Wrestlemania XXX last night, and boy did the Royal Rumble main even storyline progress. With all three participants in the title match in the building, one competitor would leave his mark throughout the night and announce himself as a legitimate threat to take home the gold. Let’s take a look at the what went down last night.
Cena Can’t Deliver
John Cena makes his way out to the ring to kick things off and starts complaining about the Authority firing his friends Dolph Ziggler, Ryback and Erick Rowan. Cena says that he is going to force them to hire the trio back by winning the title at the Royal Rumble and going home until the Authority has no choice but to re-hire the former Team Cena members. This of course brings out the Authority. Triple H says he expects more from Cena who should know the consequences. Cena convinced them to fight anyways, and they were fired because of it. Trips says that Cena always has to be the hero and so he’ll give him a chance to win their jobs back in a match with Seth Rollins. Oh, it’s a Lumberjack Match, and it’s now.
Cena pretty much spends the entire match trying to fight Rollins, J&J Security and the Lumberjacks, who seem hell bent on pleasing the Authority. Bad News Barrett is the first to try getting involved, but Cena fights him off before focusing on Rollins. Cena hits a Five Knuckle Shuffle but J&J Security get involved before he can do any more damage. Cena gets rid of them and then takes a shot at all of the Lumberjacks ringside.
Back in the ring, Rollins gets a near-fall following a Power Bomb on the turnbuckle. Cena and Rollins continue to trade blows before Cena calls for the Attitude Adjustment. Mr. Money in the Bank counters and heads up top looking for a splash, but Cena counters and hits him with an AA. Before he can make the pin, Mercury and Noble get involved and toss Cena out of the ring as the lumberjacks beat him down.
Here’s your weekly reminder that Cesaro is awesome.
Back in the ring, Rollins looks to hit Cena with a Curb Stomp, but Mr. Hustle, Loyalty and Respect counters and puts Rollins into an STF. Kane grabs Rollins and drags him to the ropes as Big Show pulls Cena out of the ring and levels him with a knockout punch. The Lumberjacks roll Cena back into the ring and Rollins makes the cover for the win.
Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar Have a Message for the WWE
For the first time since breaking the Undertaker’s undefeated Wrestlemania streak, Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar were in New Orleans, and boy did Heyman make sure fans remembered exactly what happened nearly a year ago. Heyman says that it’s funny the WWE is all about ‘Then. Now. Forever.’ because Lesnar beat the streak that was supposed to be forever, and will beat the now (Cena) and future (Rollins) of the company at the Royal Rumble. Heyman does a great job of putting over Lesnar’s accomplishments since Wrestlemania XXX and reminding everyone just how dangerous his client really is.
Backstage, we see Rollins telling J&J Security how great his win over Cena earlier was before he is interrupted by Lesnar. The Champ says that Rollins is the weasel who snuck his way into his title match, but Rollins says he’s not a weasel, he’s the future of the WWE. Brock tells Rollins the future starts when he says it does, before Heyman separates the two men and says the two should work together at the Royal Rumble to get rid of John Cena and then they can figure out who the best man is, all while Lesnar and Rollins stare each other down the entire time.
Rollins Makes a Statement
Backstage, we see John Cena sitting and looking depressed because all of his friends are gone. Later, the Authority is in the ring and they welcome all three wrestlers in the Royal Rumble main event to the ring. Paul Heyman is the first on the mic and he says Seth Rollins deserves all of the credit for bringing back the Authority. Heyman says that the move was bad for John Cena, which means it’s good for Brock Lesnar, which ultimately means it’s best for business.
Rollins asks Heyman if he’s upset this is a Triple Threat Match and Heyman says yes because the match means that Lesnar doesn’t have to be pinned to lose his title. Rollins says Lesnar has a list of accomplishments that is incomparable, and asks Heyman if he’s saying Lesnar can’t handle a triple thre match? Rollins cuts off Heyman before he can answer and tells Heyman that he may not have Lesnar’s list of accomplishments, but Brock doesn’t have his either. Rollins says he started and ended the Shield, he beat Cena earlier in the night, he brought back the Authority, and whether it’s Plan A (winning the match) or Plan B (the Money in the Bank briefcase), it doesn’t matter because he is walking out of the Royal Rumble the WWE Champ.
Lesnar grabs the mic and says he conquered the Undertaker, Triple H and John Cena, and he will conquer Rollins too. Cena cuts him off and says that Lesnar doesn’t have to be pinned to lose, but he guarantees that he’ll pin Lesnar and win. Cena then tells Rollins that at the Royal Rumble him and Lesnar will beat Rollins ass, but then Cena will kick Lesnars ass.
Rollins says that’s all nice and dandy, but Cena’s plans haven’t really been working out well for him. He says he planned to keep the Authority off Raw, and that failed. He had a plan to get Dolph Ziggler and co. their jobs back, and again he failed. Rollins then says in two weeks at the Royal Rumble, Cena will fail for a third time, if he can make it that far before trying to hit Cena with the briefcase sparking an all-out brawl.
Lesnar suplexes Cena then suplexes Rollins before Cena catches Lesnar and gives him an Attitude Adjustment through the table. Cena celebrates but is quickly distracted by Triple H, leading to Seth Rollins delivering a monstrous Curb Stomp to Cena.
But Rollins wasn’t content to just take out Cena. As Lesnar struggled to make it to his feet, Rollins measured the Champ and hits an even bigger Curb Stomp on the Beast.
Rollins and the Authority celebrate on the ramp as we go off the air. Overall, the segment was pretty great. Rollins really proved he belonged with two of the biggest names in the company by delivering some incredible heel promo work, and Cena/Lesnar did a great job selling how dangerous Mr. Money in the Bank is with those two vicious Curb Stomps. The addition of Rollins to this match is genius, he brings something new to the table and fans will be excited to watch (and root) for him to defeat the two WWE giants.
Daniel Bryan is Back
Daniel Bryan makes his way out to a thunderous ovation and says that the last time he was in New Orleans, he won the WWE World Heavyweight title in the main event at Wrestlemania. Bryan says that he wants to officially announce that he’s going to win the Royal Rumble match and go to Wrestlemania again, no matter who gets in his way. This brings out his biggest foil, Stephanie McMahon. Steph says that Bryan might not be physically fit, so she gives him a copy of her fitness DVD as a gift. Stephanie says that everyone believed in Bryan before, but reality eventually set in and 2014 was a less than stellar year.
McMahon shows a video of Kane putting Bryan out of commission and talks about how Daniel had to really fight just to come back, and he wouldn’t have had to do so if he was an A+ player. Steph says that the fans believe in him, his wife believes in him, even his unborn troll children believe in him, but she’s not sure if anyone else does. But Bryan says no matter what her or the Authority says, he will keep fighting until he proves her wrong. Stephanie decides to make a match before the Royal Rumble for Bryan since he wants to fight so badly, and announces that Kane will be his opponent this Thursday night on Smackdown!
Out comes Kane and Bryan immediately meets him outside and the brawl is on. Kane throws Bryan into the steps and tries to hit a Tombstone on the steps again, but Daniel fights back and hammers away at Kane until the refs pull them apart. Bryan runs back and hits a flying knee on the Demon before going int the ring and hitting a suicide dive before again punching away at Kane.
The Demon retreats as Bryan leads a YES! chant, and WWE does a great job of showing DB can still go while also making sure we’ll all be tuned into Smackdown! this Thursday night.
Big Show Grounds the Reigns Rocket
Big Show makes his way out to the ring and talks about how incredible his career has been. Show says that the first night he started wrestling he beat Hulk Hogan for the title, and he does this because it’s easy to him. He tells the crowd they are all idiots like Roman Reigns, and like Reigns, they don’t deserve his time. Show says that Reigns is no competition to him, and he’ll knock Reigns out. Eventually the next ‘Next Big Thing’ makes his way out to the ring to confront Show. Instead of sticking around, Show heads out of the ring. Reigns says he remembers watching Show’s debut as a little kid since it was so long ago. He says Show proved he was the real coward by walking away, and yeah, the promo left a ton to be desired but uhh, he’s getting better?
Show stays ringside as Reigns takes on Luke Harper. The big man continues to jaw at Reigns and talk trash while Harper takes control. The distraction works as Harper is able to block a Superman Punch attempt by Reigns. Eventually, it’s time for Reigns three moves and win as he nails Harper with a Superman Punch. Show tries to go after Reigns but eats a kick for his troubles, and Harper takes advantage by leveling Reigns with a huge boot. Harper looks to finish things off with a monster clothesline when…
Spear. Pin. Match.
I’m trying to give Reigns the benefit of the doubt right now, but it’s getting more and more difficult. I can’t say it’s his fault, but WWE isn’t helping with the terrible promos they’re writing for him. Stop trying to make him a smart-ass, funny face, and let Reigns flourish as the quiet, monstrous tough guy that he really is. It’s not that difficult people.
Dean Ambrose Gets Himself Into the Royal Rumble
Backstage, we see Stephanie telling Dean Ambrose that he has not been medically cleared to compete and that he is mentally unstable at the moment. Steph tells Ambrose that if he cannot pass a doctor’s mental testing, he will not be able to compete in the Royal Rumble. We see Ambrose sit with the doctor looking pretty annoyed about the whole thing, and head to break.
Throughout the night, we see Ambrose backstage with the doctor. They play a word association game where doc shows Ambrose a picture and he says the first thing that pops into his head. The segment was actually pretty hilarious, with Triple H invoking ‘irritable bowel syndrome’ and Seth Rollins getting a ‘scumbag’ response, but none were better than what Ambrose closed with. The doctor first showed Ambrose a picture of Hacksaw Jim Duggan, to which the Lunatic Fringe replied ‘HOOOOOO!” invoking Hacksaw’s trademark catchphrase.
Next up? Stephanie McMahon and well…
The last time we check in with Ambrose and the doctor, Ambrose is now offering advice, telling the doctor he hopes he helped him work through things. Ambrose tells the doctor he’ll be fine and talks him into signing the papers clearing him to fight. Oh, and he also let’s him know that it’s weird that he pees sitting down. Gotta love the Ambrose weirdness.
We then see Lana and Rusev make their way out and Rusev says Ryback is lucky he was fired because he was just going to get hurt and tossed over the top rope at the Royal Rumble like the other 28 participants. This brings out Ambrose who is ready for a fight, knocking Rusev through the ropes as we head to break.
Back from commercial, the two are doing battle in the ring. Ambrose heads up top and hits a diving elbow, but grabs his knee and Rusev takes advantage. The Bulgarian Brute repeatedly attacks Ambrose’s injured knee until the ref calls for the bell. We end with Rusev giving Ambrose a superkick and celebrating with Lana.
Other Results:
WWE Announces ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage as First 2015 WWE Hall of Fame Inductee – Great to see that the company and Macho Man’s family were able to work something out to get the legend into the Hall of Fame. Ooooooh Yeahhhhhh!
The New Day (Xavier Woods & Kofi Kingston w/ Big E) defeat Cesaro & Tyson Kidd (w/ Adam Rose) via pinfall – The New Day got the win because WWE apparently is more concerned with pushing this failing trio than realizing that the WWE Universe is loving the Cesaro-Kidd pairing. Okay.
Alicia Fox defeats Naomi via pinfall – Naomi had one arm tied behind her back because Stephanie said so. And yeah.
Alicia Fox defeats Naomi via pinfall – Naomi had one arm tied behind her back because Stephanie said so. And yeah.
The Miz defeats Jey Uso via pinfall – More Mizdow, less everyone else involved in this match please.
Brie Bella defeats Paige via pinfall – The only interesting thing about this match was Tyson Kidd coming out in a cat shirt with Natalya to support Paige. You know, because Total Divas.
The Ascension defeat Randoms via pinfall – The Ascension squash another local team with Fall of Man. It’s interesting that the commentary team keeps tearing them down. These guys need a real rivalry ASAP because they are floundering. Also, get rid of the face-paint because it is terrible.