With Battlegroud just a few days away, WWE brought out some big guns for last night’s Raw. Brock Lesnar broke things, a Divas Revolution began, and a triple threat match absolutely tore the house down. Let’s take a look at what went down.
Lesnar Sends a Devastating Message
We kick things off with Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman in the ring (which is the best way to start a Monday Night Raw), and Heyman starts listing all of Lesnar’s accomplishments before saying that his client will destroy Seth Rollins. Heyman says that Lesnar is entering as the challenger, just like he did against the Rock and John Cena, and well you know what happened to those guys.
He sings Lesnar’s praises until Rollins comes out and for probably the 37th time in 3 weeks, says he’s going to burn Suplex City to the ground. Lesnar then delivers the line of the night by telling Rollins –
“I can take you to Suplex City tonight, bitch.”
Winner.
Kane interrupts the bickering and says there will be a contract signing tonight and threatens Lesnar to keep it civil. Heyman tells Brock that he is being threatened by the Undertakers baby borhter, which of course leads to a ‘Baby Brother!’ chant from the WWE Universe as Heyman reminds us that Lesnar broke Takers streak. Heyman promises that Lesnar will come in peace to the contract signing, so long as Rollins doesn’t provoke him.
We see Rollins and Kane backstage worrying about dealing with Lesnar at the contract signing, and Kane tells Rollins he has a plan. The Champ of course is skeptical of said plan because BROCK LESNAR DESTROYS ALL PLANS.
Rollins and Kane make their way to the ring for the contract signing and the Champ brings up footage of the Authority taking Lesnar out a few weeks ago. Rollins says he isn’t afraid of Lesnar and says he will conquer the conquerer at Battleground.
Lesnar comes out and the two take a seat at the table to sign their contracts. Heyman cuts an awesome promo about wanting to see Lesnar destroy Rollins and saying everyone will be watching Sunday to see Rollins get his ass kicked. Heyman promises we will all get our money’s worth when Lesnar takes Rollins to Suplex City.
They sign the contract and stare each other down before Heyman calls Rollins out for sliding his hand under the table. Lesnar flips the table and sees that Rollins had hidden an axe handle, so he places it on the table and sits back down. Rollins grabs the handle and looks excited before Lesnar throws the table through him. No seriously.
TIME TO TAKE A TRIP TO SUPLEX CITY!
Kane breaks things up by attacking Lesnar and the Authority begins their beat down on the challenger. Rollins tries to set Lesnar up for a Pedigree on the steps, but Lesnar isn’t have that. He fights back and then hits Kane with an F5 on the outside.
Now it’s just Lesnar and Rollins. Mano a mano. So what is Rollins going to do? Run of course.
Rollins takes off through the crowd, so Lesnar is forced to send his message by absolutely destroying Kane. Brock puts Kane’s leg on the steps and… COME ON DON’T DO THAT!
Yeah that ankle is definitely (kayfabe) broken.
Lesnar gets into the ring and raises the title above his head as Rollins watches from the crowd. Once the challenger is gone, Rollins makes his way back out to the ring and starts to toss stuff around like a child. He says he took the WWE title from Lesnar because he is better and he’s going to prove himself again Sunday. Rollins says he is going to slay the beast himself.
On his way out of the ring, the Champ sees Kane being helped by the EMT’s, so he takes this opportunity to yell at Kane and tell him his plan was a failure just like Kane. Rollins says this is all on him and continues to berate Kane before stomping on his ankle and leaving.
The Authority is falling apart and Lesnar looks unstoppable. Good luck on Sunday, Seth.
The U.S. Open Challenge Steals the Show… Again
For at least the third week in a row, John Cena’s U.S. Open Challenge was the best pure wrestling segment on Raw. Cena comes out and before he can get into his usual chest-thumping shtick, Rusev cuts him off and says he is the best U.S. Champion ever and would still be champ if it wasn’t for Lana. He says he’s going to take the title from Cena before Kevin Owens cuts him off and says he’s going to take the title off Cena so Rusev gets angry and all that does is allow Owens to spit hot fire at Rusev before telling him to leave.
They continue to argue as Cesaro comes out and gets in Cena’s face about wanting his shot after the two classics they put on in the past couple of weeks and eventually a brawl breaks out between all three wannabe challengers. You know what this means:
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH! The winner of the match would earn the right to accept Cena’s open challenge.
I’m not going to mince words here, this match was nothing but awesomeness. Instead of breaking it down, let’s get to my trusty GIF’s to show you what really went down. This match was definitely not short on highlights.
No triple threat match would be complete without some great spots featuring all three wrestlers right?
A FLYING KEVIN OWENS APPEARS!
AND HE’S BACK AGAIN!
Seriously though, just like the past two weeks, the U.S. Open Challenge was basically the Cesaro Show.
And every move was just another chance for the Swiss Superman to top himself. Ridiculous strength? Check.
What about ridiculous athleticism mixed with ridiculous strength? CESARO GOT THAT TOO.
And of course, the running uppercut.
Eventually, Owens gets over taking uppercuts and kicks to the face and decides to just wait until Sunday so he bounces mid-match. Now it’s down to Cesaro and Rusev and wouldn’t you know, the two hosses take turns showing off.
And of course, we get one more Cesaro uppercut for good measure, this time of the 360 variety.
This was a long and grueling match that saw Rusev eventually pick up the win with his flying kick.
So after wrestling Cesaro and Owens for 30 minutes, Rusev is rewarded with a match against John Cena. Right now.
Cena pretty much dominates the exhausted Rusev and starts smacking the challenger around and enjoying himself. He picks Rusev up for an Attitude Adjustment but Rusev reverses and locks in the Accolade!
Awesome reversal from Rusev and Cena is in the center of the ring starting to fade. As soon as it looks like Cena might pass out, Owens returns and kicks Rusev to cause the disqualification. Owens then hits Rusev with a Pop-Up Powerbomb for good measure.
Cena gets one too and Owens screams that he’s the only one taking the title from him.
Seriously, Kevin Owens is awesome. Heel or face, it doesn’t matter to Owens he will destroy you.
It’s a Divas Revolution!
For those who are regulars to our Raw and pay-per-view recaps, the Divas division getting a featured section may come as a bit of a shock. But last night, WWE finally made the Divas relevant in an awesome segment that saw the debut of not one, not two, but THREE NXT Divas who are sure to shake things up and make the division more interesting immediately.
We start things off with the Bellas (plus Alicia Fox) coming out and talking about how dominant they are and how they take no shortcuts and basically a bunch of BS that is usually what we get from the Bellas.
BUT FEAR NOT, THIS IS NO ORDINARY DIVAS SEGMENT.
Out comes Stephanie McMahon who apparently remembered there are other women in the company besides herself, and she cuts Nikki off. Steph says there hasn’t been a high level of women’s competition in WWE… UNTIL NOW.
She brings out Paige and says the Anti-Diva is trying to make a difference. Nikki of course does the whiny Bella shtick and Steph cuts her off and says she wanted Paige out in the ring. She also says that Paige needs some back up in dealing with the Bellas, and now she has it…
BOOM BECKY LYNCH IS IN THE HOUSE!
Lynch makes her way out to the ring to join Paige, but the two Divas are still outnumbered. Surely there is a third Diva somewhere backstage that can help them out….
WOOOO!
Charlotte (aka Ric Flair’s baby girl) makes her way out and we now have an even 3 on 3 match-up that isn’t so even because the NXT Divas would destroy the Bellas every day of the week.
This brings out Naomi and Tamina who complain about the other six Divas getting shine and they want in on the action. Stephanie says that Naomi takes initiative and that reminds her of another Diva in the back…
THE BOSS IS IN THE BUILDING!
Sasha Banks, aka bae, makes her way out and we now have a three on three on three stare down in the center of the ring.
I think we all know where this is going… DIVA’S BRAWL!
Chaos breaks out as all nine Divas start throwing down. There are Divas all over the place when suddenly we realize there are three Bellas in the ring, and the three newest Divas on the main roster each have one of them locked into a submission hold.. AT THE SAME DAMN TIME.
The Bellas eventually retreat as the remaining Divas stare each other down and FINALLY there is some life in the Divas division. Good job WWE this was a great way to introduce these three, now don’t screw it up.
Other Results:
Reigns Finally Gets to Wyatt – Bray Wyatt comes out for his match with Dean Ambrose but while he’s making his long gloomy entrance Roman Reigns creeps up on him from behind. Reigns finally takes his frustrations out on Wyatt for a few fleeting moments, hitting a Superman Punch before Bray nails him with a lantern and retreats.
I had high hopes for this feud and instead it’s become 30 seconds worth of TV.
Stardust Returns – In what had to have been an emotional moment, Stardust made his return a few weeks after the passing of his father Dusty Rhodes. While a lot of people were hoping to see Cody Rhodes come back instead of Stardust, this was a nice return match for Rhodes.
Also of note, WWE nailed it with an awesome graphic before the match
Stardust and Neville went back and forth with some nice spots, before Stardust picks up the win with a roll through and hooked tights.
RybacKO > Showmas – Need to kill two birds with one stone? Throw two different feuds together for a tag match! WWE paired Randy Orton and Ryback together against Sheamus and Big Show (with Miz on commentary of course) because sure why not? The match was exactly what you’d expect it to be, but did feature a flying Ryback at one point.
Miz tries to sneak in so Big Show chases him to the back, which leads to Sheamus eating an RKO and then a splash from Ryback for the loss. Yawn.
Primetime Players + 1 Knock off New Day – In what is becoming a weekly thing at this point, the Primetime Players teamed up with another wrestler, this time Mark Henry, to take on the New Day in a six-man tag match. The reason for all these matches is unclear, and it’s pretty depressing that WWE has zero direction for their tag team division.
PTP picks up the win thanks to a World’s Strongest Slam because why let anyone in the actual tag team feud get the decision?
Barrett-Trust 34 – Oh hey, King Barrett and R-Truth fought again! Truth picks up the win because I guess Barrett is being buried again, and then they announce these two will wrestle AGAIN at Battleground, just in case you haven’t gotten enough of this feud yet.