With just under two weeks left before SummerSlam and no Undertaker or Brock Lesnar on the Monday Night Raw card, WWE used last night’s Raw as a night of filler. We got few storyline updates and instead were given another WWE title match, a great triple threat match, and a uniting of colored arrows. Let’s take a look at what went down.
Another Week, Another Rollins Survival
We kick things off with WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins who introduces us to ‘Monday Night Rollins’ and then proceeds to talk about breaking John Cena’s nose and how Cena has ignored his title for title match challenge at SummerSlam. He says if Cena wants he can come to SummerSlam and forfeit his U.S. title, which would make Rollins the first man to ever hold both the U.S. and WWE straps at the same time.
Rollins then says Cena is actually here via satellite and.. it’s a picture of Cena’s busted nose with Rollins mouth super-imposed and his voice over Cena’s. I’m serious.
Bonus points for Rollins mustache coming into view while talking.
Rollins then talks about Neville and their match last week, saying that he gave a hell of a performance but he just doesn’t have enough to beat him.
And then, it’s Cesaro time.
Cesaro comes out and challenges Rollins to a WWE title match and let me tell you, the man did it with some style.
Sunglass flip for emphasis.
Rollins being the slimy Champ that he is of course laughs it off and denies us of what would be an incredible match because there is no open challenge tonight.
For some reason, this brings out Kevin Owens who says that Cesaro doesn’t deserve a title shot, he does (SHOCKING!) and he’s beaten Cena already so he should have priority.
More Rollins weasling and then Randy Orton makes his way out to lay claim to his own title shot. He calls Owens fat, compliments Cesaro on his amazing sunglasses and then demands his title shot. Rollins makes fun of Tom Brady and then tells them to leave.
Out comes papa bear Triple H who says that since Cena is 50-50 we’re getting a triple threat match between Cesaro, Owens and Orton (!!!!) and the winner gets a title shot TONIGHT. When is that title shot gonna be Cesasro?
TONIGHT!
Backstage we see Seth whining to Triple H, which is apparently a weekly thing as stipulated by his contract, and Trips says to be a man and compete like John Cena does.
To put it simply, the Triple-Threat match between Owens/Cesaro/Orton was freaking incredible. It took a bit to really get going, but man when these guys finally kicked it into high gear it was just awesome. I mean look at this uppercut from Cesaro.
The finish saw Orton kick it up a notch, first hitting Owens with this RKO (OUTTA NOWHERE!)…
Before hitting Cesaro with one and picking up the win and a shot at Rollins. Granted, I would have much preferred one of the other two competitors win, but at least we know Orton and Rollins put on some pretty great matches.
Finally, we close the night with Orton against Rollins for the title. Pretty good match between the two as per usual, although there was one pretty bad botch that we can’t actually ignore.
No you were supposed to, I mean I, no we, damn it.
Eventually after Orton controls a good portion of the match Rollins decides that he wants to take his title and leave. Come on Seth, you know Randy can’t allow that.
Orton suplexes Rollins onto the announce table and we’re back in the ring. Rollins reverses a hanging DDT from Orton and gets a near-fall after nearly shoving the Viper into the ref. Rollins climbs up top but Orton catches him and hits a superplex for a near-fall of his own.
Rollins finally gets up and tries to hit a Pedigree but Orton reverses and goes for another hanging DDT, but this time Rollins counters and hits one of his own. The Champs calls for an RKO but turns it into a Pedigree attempt which nope. Rollins heads outside and tries a top rope move when….
RKO OUTTA NOWHERE! HOLY CRAP ORTON IS GONNA WIN THE TITLE!!!
Orton goes for the cover and…. SHEAMUS PULLS HIM OUT OF THE RING! The Celtic Warrior drops Orton into the audience and then hits the ring and Brogue Kicks Rollins! He attempts to Cash-In his Money in the Bank briefcase but Orton comes flying out of nowhere and RKO’s him to put an end to all that noise.
Very interesting finish and good job by WWE making an otherwise blah Raw missing some of its biggest stars into something that was fairly entertaining.
Other Results:
Daniel Bryan is Back… Sort Of – Daniel Bryan made his way out for MizTV and, yup, everyone still loves DB.
Including this guy who made the best Bryan sign in history.
Miz tries to put himself over as Bryan’s mentor, so DB says that his accomplishments are due to hard work and fan support. Miz asks about his injuries and makes jokes about sitting at home, and DB says he wrote a best-seller and is a judge on Tough Enough in the meantime.
Then we get to the point of all this as Miz asks DB if Ryback should forfeit his title. For some reason Big Show comes out and calls Miz a cross-dressing Jedi, and then Ryback makes his return. Miz and DB bail so the two big men stare each other down and start yelling. Bryan throws Miz in between them and well, he gets tossed all over the place. Ryback hits Show with a Meat Hook clothesline, and then obliges the chanting crowd and Bryan by hitting one on Miz too
Don’t Mess With Colored Arrows – No it’s not another one of WWE’s racial storylines. Stephen Amell aka the Green Arrow was ringside watching Neville beat King Barrett when Stardust comes out and attacks the Red Arrow. Stardust then makes his way over to Amell and pushes him directly in the face.
BIG MISTAKE CODY. You do not piss the Green Arrow off. INITIATE PARKOUR SEQUENCE!
Green Arrow hops the barricade, hops on the apron, then jumps the ropes and EAT THESE FISTS STARDUST.
Backstage we see Triple H lecturing Amell for jumping the barricade and the Green Arrow says he wants to team with the Red Arrow to take STardust out. Guess what? GREEN/RED ARROW VS. STARDUST (and King Barrett for reasons) AT SUMMERSLAM.
Score One for the Wyatts – We see Dean Ambrose backstage talking about not having friends and something about jail stories before Roman Reigns shows up and says they are brothers which leads to a best friends quiz because sure why not. Ambrose then had a match with Luke Harper that saw Harper pick up the win after Wyatt and Reigns started brawling ringside and the chaos allowed him to Ambrose with a massive clothesline.
Bellas Get Back Some Momentum – After taking a couple of L’s at the hands of the newest additions to the Divas roster, the Bellas pick up a win over Team BAD with Paige, Charlotte and Becky on commentary. Sasha Banks aka Bae was super-duper over with the crowd for this one, and after Brie pinned Tamina a brawl broke out.
Guess what? At SummerSlam we’re getting an elimination tag match with all three teams. IT”S A REVOLUTION!
Every Tag Team Gets a Title Shot – Okay maybe not all of them, but four teams will compete at SS for the tag straps when the New Day, Los Matadores, and Lucha Dragos challenge the Prime Time Players. The New Day celebrated this by beating Los Matadores and then dancing.
They may be incredibly annoying, but damn are those guys funny.
Seriously, the Rusev-Ziggler Storyline is STILL Happening – Despite Dolph Ziggler being gone for about a month now, his storyline with Rusev continues. The Bulgarian Brute beat Mark Henry in what amounts to a squash and then Lana and Summer Rae get into it, which leads to Summer Rae locking in the Accolade.
That was… interesting.
