It has been a wild week in football.
There was a story about Texas special teams coach Jeff Banks falling in love with a stripper named Pole Assassin and buying her a monkey which then bit a trick-or-treater on Halloween, and it wasn’t the biggest story in sports.
Now, since he’s the head coach, Steve Sarkisian has to talk about the issues.
He was asked if it was an issue and said it’s a personal matter and not a distraction to the players at all. No one really bought that because they’re college kids, and this is a really wild story.
If you are curious, what happened with Pole Assassin, the Halloween kids, and the monkey.
As if Texas’ football season couldn’t get any worse — a monkey belonging to Longhorns special teams coach Jeff Banks’ GF is being accused of attacking a young trick or treater on Halloween … but the woman says it’s all the kid’s fault.
A report late Monday night claimed the white-faced capuchin “seriously hurt” a boy during Halloween festivities … with the monkey’s jaws having to be “pried” open to free the child.
Banks’ GF, Danielle Thomas — AKA “Pole Assassin,” a professional pole dancer once featured on “Jerry Springer” — admitted something happened, but quickly defended her monkey … claiming she was hosting a haunted event at her place, and the kid went where he wasn’t supposed to.
The cops said they hadn’t gotten a call about it, so this is considered a civil matter. I wouldn’t be shocked if someone dropped a lawsuit against Thomas and Banks.
I know the players behind closed doors are cracking up about this because, let’s be honest, it is pretty funny now that we know the kid that was bitten wasn’t seriously hurt.
Flip the page for Pole Assassin telling her side of the story, photos of her back in her stripper days, and the Jerry Springer show video.
