An Open Letter To Tim Tebow: NFL, NoHos & Tigerstyling – BlackSportsOnline
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An Open Letter To Tim Tebow: NFL, NoHos & Tigerstyling

Dear Timmy,

Wassup it’s ya boy Robert Littal.  I know you are getting prepared for the NFL Combine and what not, but I felt compelled to write because I think I can be of some assistance to you in your transition to the NFL and more importantly your transition to the spotlight of the NFL.

You probably are wondering to yourself:

“Self what can this guy who talks about nohos and football gods can tell me about the making it in the NFL, God bless him.”

I am going to tell you things all your “yes men/women” are scared to tell you, so I suggest you put down the bible for a second and pay close attention.

I am going to start on the field first.  I read you have like twenty coaches trying to work on your mechanics; you need to fire them all now.

Quarterbacks can “tweak” their mechanics, but what you are trying to do is “reconstruct” your mechanics and that has never been done in the history of the NFL.

They are just stealing your money.  You might look ok during your Pro Day, but when the bullets start flying (no Arenas) you are going to revert back to what you have been doing since you were in diapers.

The truth is your release is slower than a Kardashian signing a pre-nup; you have very little experience under center and Ryan Leaf chuckles at your ability to read defenses.

With that being said I rather you be my quarterback than JaMarcus Russell because I know you at least have a passion for the game.

So this is what I am going to need you to do.  Send a letter to all 32 NFL teams saying you are willing to play any position on the field.  You want to do what is best for the team regardless if that is playing fullback, tight end, H Back, punter and etc, it doesn’t matter to you as long as you are on the field.  Also in that letter point out that your main goal someday is to become a starting QB in the league and as long as the team is helping you toward that goal you are more than happy to do whatever they asked.

I have no question that you will work your ass off to be the best quarterback you can be and who knows maybe you turn into a modern day Bernie Kosar, I wish you well with that even if I think it is unlikely.

Timmy I think the football part you will figure it out and fit in with a team in some capacity.  The harder part will be off the field.

You are now entering the dreaded “Kobe Zone”.

Where people either hate your guts or worship you like a God.  This is of no fault of your own but it is the reality.  Most athletes in these situations cut themselves off privately from the outside world, but you tend to embrace the attention.

Which is fine, I think more athletes should say how they feel regardless if people agree or not, but I am here to warn you that those who hate you, who are envious of you or who just want to be the one who want to smack the halo off your head will be coming at you hard.

I have had not one, but five women come to me with “Tebow” exposed stories.  Don’t know if they are lying or telling the truth, but as someone who is totally unbiased in the situation if any of those women would have produced a “Tiger Style” voicemail I would have run the story.

You remind me a bit of Dwight Howard when he came straight out of high school to the NBA wearing his religion on his sleeve and 15 minutes later he had an Orlando Magic dancer pregnant.  The damage was minimal for Howard because it is the NBA and he was so young.

People expect more out of you and fair or not you can’t make that type of mistake.

You should be watching Tiger Woods intently on what not to do.  You don’t want to be the next contestant on that summer jam screen.  The sad thing is Tiger was able to go a decade before getting caught mainly because no one was looking.  People are praying for your downfall as we speak.

I personally don’t care if you become the 40 Year Virgin, you are breaking lamps with porn stars or making commercial how you were raised by wolves in the desert,  just remember people have their stones ready to go Roger Clemens (no HGH) at your glass house.

Unfortunately Timmy I don’t see too much middle ground for you.  Either you going to fail miserably on and off the field or you are going to live up to the standards that fairly or unfairly have been placed upon you.

I wish you luck because you are going to need it.  You can hit me up Twitter if you need any anything or the BSO Blackberry.

One last piece of advice.

Stay away from women who know how to swing a golf club.  I heard it turns out badly when you are with them.

I’m out.