Dear Arod,
It has been a while since we last talked. I know you appreciated my last letter and since tonight you start the series that will probably define your career I thought it is best that we talked before you hit the field.
You know you are a hard person to get a hold of. I had to track down your cousin to get your email address. He also said I was looking a little slim, so he gave me a number of a guy that can help me with my “workouts”. That cousin of yours is a really cool guy. Had a lot of brown paper bags in his backseat, but I digress.
How is Kate doing? I hope you do like Jay Z and put a ring on that. In an era where celebrity girlfriends are normally blamed for athletes failures or mental health status (see: Jessica Simpson & Khloe Kardashian) Kate has upgraded your status. She must have that “good good” doesn’t she Alex? You can tell me I am your boy. I was just in Atlanta and let me tell you I met this young lady and man, but enough about me we need to stay focus on you. I am glad this relationship seems to have calmed your playoff nerves so whatever she is doing with her tongue or otherwise have her keep doing that.
I have a theory on why you are playing lights out in the playoffs, I call it:
THE COLORADO DRY HUMPING THEORY
It is based off the Kobe Bryant situation in Colorado. He was accused of rape and it pretty much destroyed his reputation as a “golden boy”.
Once he didn’t feel the need to live up to that fake image he was able to be himself which was a cold blooded assassin on the court. As I always preach when you are honest with yourself and just be the person you are people will end up respecting that. A few years later Kobe is the consensus best player in the league and reigning World Champion.
Alex you should be thanking SI.com for breaking the story that you were on that “Roger Clemens” back in 2003. It is the best thing that ever happened to you. Yeah you made up some crazy story about your cousin in the alley of some Dominican Republic Walgreens, but whatever you panic.
I think once you sat back and thought about it you said:
“Screw them”
I am going to sleep with my strippers, stop trying to be loved like Derek Jeter & just play ball.
You are doing a great job Alex, but similar to Kobe two years ago you have to be careful. Because as Kobe learned if you don’t win, all the questions and the doubts will come back. The people who love you right now will go back to turn on you.
So just relax “break lamps” with Kate and don’t worry about anything except being Alex Rodriguez. The stripper loving, Madonna chasing, absentee dad and greatest player of our generation not named Barry Bonds and everything will work out.
I got the Yankees in 6 and I need to win this bet, so don’t let me down Alex. If you need me you can find me on Twitter.
RL