A 27-year-old former Take 5 Oil Change employee was arrested over the weekend after allegedly breaking into the Airline Highway location where he once worked, smashing a garage window and stealing roughly $200 from the office safe.
According to a Baton Rouge Police Department warrant, Dejontay Wings — who had been fired from the shop about two weeks earlier — carried out the alleged burglary around 10:50 p.m. on Dec. 2, 2025. He faces charges of simple burglary and criminal damage to property.
The case might have stayed quiet longer if not for a critical failure in the shop’s security system. The camera malfunctioned and never captured a clear view of the suspect’s face. What it did capture, however, was enough for the manager to make a positive identification without any facial recognition software: Wings’ walk.
Yes, his walk. The same stride that once paced the bays during oil changes apparently doubles as a biometric signature. In a development straight out of a low-budget crime comedy, the manager reportedly told investigators he knew exactly who it was the moment he saw the gait.
Wings, known online in Baton Rouge circles as “Wingstoofunny” and an early member of comedian Funny Mike’s local crew, allegedly made off with the modest sum before disappearing into the night. Police say he located the safe inside the office and helped himself to the cash. Six months later, a warrant led to his arrest on Saturday.
The internet, however, has decided the real crime scene is the mugshot.
The booking photo — Wings in a bright orange jumpsuit — dropped onto social media and immediately went into meme overdrive. Users flooded X and Instagram with comparisons to Sloth from The Goonies, hammerhead sharks, low-polygon N64 villains, and characters from The Hills Have Eyes. One widely shared post simply read: “This is Mr. Dejontay Wings, known as the human Photoshop.”
Others went straight for the economics of the heist. “He could’ve asked Funny Mike for 200,” one commenter wrote, summing up the prevailing sentiment that risking felony charges for a couple hundred bucks was a questionable business decision. Another user quipped that the mugshot looked like a graphic from a 2001 PlayStation game, while a third wondered aloud about depth perception and family trees with limited branching.
The $200 payout has become its own punchline. For context, that amount might cover a tank of gas, a decent wing dinner (name-related pun fully intended), or ironically, a couple of “stay in your car” oil changes at the very business he allegedly targeted. The risk-reward ratio has not escaped online observers, many of whom are treating the entire episode like a masterclass in poor criminal ROI.
Context and nuance matter here. Simple burglary in Louisiana is a serious charge that can carry significant jail time, especially with the added criminal damage to property count. The delayed arrest — the incident happened in early December 2025 — suggests either a cold trail that suddenly warmed or investigators moving methodically once the distinctive-walk tip came in. Either way, it turned a local workplace grudge into a six-month delayed viral moment.
The online reaction has been loud, fast, and predictably unfiltered. While some users have pushed back, arguing it’s inappropriate to mock someone’s appearance and that the focus should stay on the alleged crime, the dominant tone has been equal parts disbelief and meme-fueled schadenfreude. In the age of instant booking photos and algorithm-driven outrage cycles, even small-stakes local crimes can become national punchlines when the visuals cooperate.
Wings’ prior association with Funny Mike’s early Baton Rouge crew adds another layer of irony. That scene is built on exaggerated characters, quick wit, and viral moments. This time the viral moment arrived courtesy of the East Baton Rouge Parish Sheriff’s Office rather than a prank video.
As of Monday, Wings remains in custody facing the two charges. His next court appearance will determine whether the distinctive walk leads to a longer legal journey than the short trip from the garage window to the safe.
In the meantime, the internet has already rendered its verdict on the mugshot: not guilty by reason of comedy. The walk, however, may need a new signature move.
